#and like any self respecting sick person that means this * point at self indulgence art page that I won't be posting bc I'm tired okay*

[coolcoolcoolbutwtf]

Listen my fever is finally down enough for me to draw. So if I wanna draw sonic wearing shit I wanna wear nonsense I damn will!

[pyroclastic727]

Luz and Amity have the same motives

Anyone who has seen The Owl House knows Luz and Amity’s dynamic. Not so much the fighting one, but the one that Eda refers to as “adorable banter which is literally making [her] sick.” They work together perfectly: two rivals who make peace. How do they do that, though? By finding similarity, mainly in motives.

Both Luz and Amity want to be witches.

However, they pursue this in different ways. Amity goes the traditional route. She enrolls in Hexside at a young age, dedicating her life to witchcraft. This is the only path she knows, and she sees it as a way towards success and (probably) pleasing her parents. Being a witch means proving that she is competent and skilled enough, something she doesn’t believe, as shown by how she points out other people’s incompetence and boasts about her own (this is a thing that insecure people do. I know from experience ^_^).

Luz travels a strange route, which you probably know. I mean, she finds the scrappiest, artificially-aged owl-witch antihero, who hates school and teaches her in a ragtag, reluctant fashion. Most of Luz’s learning is on her own. It’s very much the difference between an art student and someone who draws as a hobby; without pressure, Luz can be thirsty for information. However, information tends to be much harder to access, since a lack of pressure also means a lack of resources. (Thanks a lot, modern school system).

Both Luz and Amity want the other person to stop bullying them.

From Luz’s point of view, Amity starts as a bully, so much so that this YouTube video keeps popping up in my recommended, explaining why Amity is an excellent bully. It seems convincing from this point of view; I mean, their first meeting is comprised of Amity obsessively shaking Luz’s lifeless form. Sure, Luz is making a lot of mistakes and altogether shitting on the rules, but that’s what you do when you come from another world and aren’t even enrolled in the school. And as Luz sees, Amity repeatedly does things to insult Luz, someone she hardly knows. She specifically mentions Luz in her Instagram post, calling out humans as being not invited to her conjuring. It seems like she’s specifically targeting Luz, this person who just stumbled into the world and has had about three interactions with Amity. The other girl has really assumed the worst in Luz, which makes no sense at all, since Luz is, well...Luz. 

Meanwhile, Amity sees Luz as a bully. Remember Amity’s main motive: to become a witch and join the Emperor’s Coven so she can convince herself that she’s competent (which isn’t going to work, but that’s how us top-student types think). Luz has been destroying Amity’s plans. The first thing Luz did was help a student cheat on an assignment that Amity worked hard on, and then take Amity’s gold star, aka her symbol of competence, as a spoil of war. Then she challenges Luz to a duel and cheats on that. Amity has been working all her life to be perfect, and meanwhile Luz goes and cheats and lies and isn’t perfect, and gets what she wants. For Amity to accept that Luz’s actions aren’t bullying would mean to admit that perfection isn’t what Amity wants.

Both Luz and Amity want to enjoy fan content shamelessly.

For Luz, she is openly a fangirl at home. I mean, one of our first lines from her is an admission to making anime edits (what a weeb) and getting sucked into Feminist Harry Potter. She makes art and writes, and I would be surprised if she hasn’t written fanfiction. Yet her mom wants to send her to a camp to stifle her creativity. All the other people at school shun her for having weird interests (you’d think that would be unrealistic at this point). Her original motive for staying on the Boiling Isles was so she could be a creative fangirl in relative peace. Even on the Isles, she continues to be a fangirl, going so far as to cosplay Azura in front of Amity. (Luz is what would happen if Tumblr were a person, I swear).

For Amity, she wants to be a fangirl, too. She stans Azula, going so far as to own the first four books. The difference is, she’s closeted. I’m guessing that her parents put a lot of pressure on her to be perfect (or at least, that they used to). If not that, then there’s the embarrassment her siblings cause her, and her subsequent attempts to make her family name seem respectable. At least there’s a sense of sibling competition, since they’ll always be better than her, as long as they have more experience. All that has culminated in an internalized belief that Amity holds, that she has to be perfect and the top student. Would a top student read stupid books and sink into a fandom? No. A top student spends all her time studying and doing things to make the teachers favor her (wow look it’s my mantra from last year). Beneath Amity’s self-consciousness and low self-worth is the desire to simply enjoy things and be herself. Luz helps her get there, by cosplaying and lending her book. But she still has a long way to go, which probably includes standing up to her parents, and most importantly being vulnerable with herself.

Both Luz and Amity want to be valued.

This is at the base of each girl’s personality. I mean, Luz at home doesn’t seem very valued. Her mom is okay, but she is also willing to send her to a summer camp, and after A Lying Witch and a Warden, they don’t text at all. Her classmates don’t value her. When she comes to the Boiling Isles, part of the reason she’s so happy is because so many people value her: Eda, King, Willow, and Gus. She has a family and friends and is fairly content. Now all she needs is to become a real witch so people will value the part of her that loves magic. 

Amity has it way worse. For the most part, she isn’t really valued. Remember the scene where she’s sitting on her windowsill, staring out the window and brooding as her friends take selfies without her? She doesn’t feel any attachment to her friends, alone in any crowd she’s in. Her siblings, while they love her, are an annoyance to her. They don’t seem to see the real value in her, and if they do, they don’t express it. She would probably cry if one of her siblings said he or she was proud of her. Meanwhile, we don’t see much of her parents (I’m writing this after S1E12, for future viewers). Keeping in mind that Dana Terrace and Alex Hirsch also wrote on Gravity Falls, she probably has the parents that Pacifica Northwest has: a distant, cold nuclear family with high expectations and low tolerance for her. Without any love at home, she seeks some at school. We know that she once valued Willow, but lost her. (My guess is that she pushed Willow away). Her professors give her validation, but judging by how quickly they take it away, it seems more like a toxic dependency than a real relationship. By this point, Amity has spent so much of her life without being valued that when Luz extends kindness to her, she doesn’t even know how to respond.

This sets both girls up to learn from each other. 

Luz is excitable and reckless, and she can pick up some discipline and ambition from Amity. Amity is high-strung and repressed, so she can learn some self-indulgence and emotional freedom from Luz. Usually the best way to learn a lot from a peer and have them learn from you, in fiction, is to form a close bond with them and spend a lot of time together. Fortunately for Lumity, similarity breeds attraction.

[amphtaminedreams]

Paris Haute Couture Week S/S 2020 Plus a Little Jacquemus: Okay, Dior DID Suck (Part 2/2)

Hi to anyone reading,

First of all, thank you! I have never had a post do as well as the part 1 of my haute couture week review did and I am so overwhelmed with the positive feedback. This is probably funny to read for those of you getting thousands of reblogs on your posts, me acting like I won an academy award because I got a couple of hundred, but honestly I don’t expect any traction when I write on here (it’s basically just me word vomiting everything I’m thinking as if people want to hear it aka. mouthing off into what I thought was the void) so if you did read it, thank you! I do spend a long-ass time on these so it means a lot:-)

I’ll leave the self-indulgent ramble there though as it’s probably not what you came for and jump straight into part 2 of my thoughts, starting with Jacquemus. Yeah, I knew what I was doing when I tagged that in my last post. Simon Porte Jacquemus is the man of the *fashion* people right now; I’ve even found myself coming round to the Le Chiquito bag despite my original thought being “well, that’s fucking useless”. I know, I know, technically it’s not haute couture; it was part of Men’s Fashion Week, but it happened around the same time and everyone was talking about it on Twitter, so I feel like I have to include it.

In a way, it kind of reminds me of Bottega Veneta’s last RTW show, in that, especially with the women’s outfits, we seem to be sticking with simple, fitted garments and chunky, more statement jewellery. I’ve got to say I like the styling here a lot more though, and in general I’m a fan of this collection. The collared tops with cut outs underneath blazers are cool and I can’t wait until it gets warm enough for me to not feel dumb wearing my headscarfs like this; there’s a LOT of summer outfit inspiration. It’s not a mind-blowing collection or anything but it is effortlessly sexy and that’s something I wish I could say about myself. Most of us can only hope to look half as good as these models do whilst making the effort but at least Jacquemus is aspirational, lol. 

I also fucking adore this colour palette. I’m sick of neutrals literally just meaning brown and white; the navy, sand and muted khaki is a fresh edition to what is usually interpreted as the colours you’d seen worn by Disney’s Riverboat Cruise staff and only Disney’s Riverboat Cruise staff. And I mean, come on-what is more neutral than typical English school carpet blue.

Next for the whole reason I had to make this haute couture week review 2 separate posts: Jean Paul Gaultier’s final show.

In the best way possible, it’s a lot. I don’t even really know where to start, except to say that I guess this is a fitting last show; a celebration of everything campy, messy, weird, performative, and punk is the perfect send off for a brand whose best known perfume of the last few years is called Scandal. More than anything, the final show represented the range of characters and cultures that have influenced JPG throughout his half-a-decade-long career, the lines that supposedly separate what is “masculine” and “feminine”, “old” and “young” and ultimately art and fashion blurred in the most exaggerated way possible. Sure, there are some looks which are individually a bit messy here but the way they were grouped into almost chapter-like segments meant that when you see them all together, they work. Nods to the patterns and structures that recurred from season to season were sprinkled throughout, from sailor stripes to corsets to the expected whirlwinds of colour. I’ll even allow the wellies in that one outfit; if I can get over bucket hats in Peter fucking Pilotto’s last RTW show, I can get over some questionable shoes here. Middle aged fishermen and boys who liked to pose with monster carp in their Tinder pictures as some weird display of masculinity everywhere rejoice.

Now onto a show that I personally found slightly disappointing: Margiela.

I think this one is a bit TOO weird for me. Like if you’re gonna go avant-garde, go all out. Chiffon gimp masks (I don’t know if that’s the intention here but that’s what I’m getting, sorry Maison) are something I’m not particularly fond of and I’ve never been a fan of the Tabi boots in the first place, let alone when they’ve seemingly been blown up to Michelin man style proportions. I didn’t find the show to be a total lost cause-I enjoyed the colour palette and I’ve always liked that contrast stitching detail, plus the bowler hats are interesting-but on the whole considering how much I liked the last RTW show, this is a bit of a let down. 

The looks I included are salvageable but (I feel mean saying this) there were genuinely a lot of pieces that did just resemble bits of fabric draped over each over with no discernible rhyme or reason, so much so that they reminded me of some of the monstrosities I saw at a Drag Race pub quiz this one time where we had 5 mins to make some garms out of loo roll and then have a team member model them for points down a makeshift runway. 

Ralph and Russo was alright. There were a few pieces that I really liked but again, I can’t help but compare this collection to the last, where it felt like the fussy details of bows and sequins and feathers and the Barbie Dreamhouse palette were utilised with a direction in mind. Here, I don’t get that. As ever, the gowns are gorgeous and I’d pay good money just to try one on for five minutes but as an overall collection I’d say there was a lack of higher vision, which is probably the snobbiest sentence I’ve ever written so forgive me.

As for Ronald Van Der Kemp, I could’ve done without including it to be honest, if it weren’t for the few pieces I’m in love with: the velvet cape, fur trimmed jacket and blue satin dress are probably my favourite pieces here.

So onto a collection I liked a lot more: Schiaparelli. 

The influence of nature from flowers in bloom to insects to the organic structure of the human skeleton is as present as ever, though this collection includes a lot more delicate symbolism than usual. Honestly, the details make it for me; the brooches, earrings and facial jewellery are other-worldly touches to outfits that could otherwise be simple fashion magazine editor on-the-go. That’s not in itself a bad thing! The suits are gorgeous. I mean, I’m talking fashion editor in New York in a power suit yelling orders down the phone while she rushes along with a coffee. A Miranda Priestley in the making type woman. THAT’S a modern take on the divine feminine that Maria Grazia should’ve been going for; our goddesses aren’t women who sit around looking pretty (though that helps too) and place curses on mere mortals anymore, they’re women who get shit done. 

With regards to Valentino, which was also a delight, let me start by saying this colour palette is EVERYTHING. It’s ugly sisters in Cinderella fantastic, and we know those 2 were the real fashion icons really. Other than that, I adore the Old Hollywood silhouettes from the gloves to the Liz Taylor-in-Cleopatra-level-dramatic earrings. Everything is opulent and expensive-looking and pretty much what we’ve all come to expect from Valentino. A strong 8/10.

For me personally, Viktor and Rolf was a standout and one of my favourite collections of haute couture week. It’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and I know it’s at the complete opposite end of the spectrum to what was probably my other favourite collection, Elie Saab, but this is just my style down to a T, the perfect balance of grungy and cutesy that I want to achieve. 

There’s probably going to be a lot of objections to the temporary face tattoos and I get that, but I think they’re fucking sick. I obviously wouldn’t get a permanent one lest my mother murder me in cold blood however if I did, you bet I would be pairing them with frilly-ass babydoll dresses that you could pick up in Camden Market like this. 

And last but not least (that would be Dior), there’s Zuhair Murad.

Sigh.

IDK, man. Seeing Zuhair Murad dresses on Tumblr and WeHeartIt (remember that site? It still exists!) as a 14 year old was one of the things that got me into fashion, so it sucks that almost every time a new collection comes around, I feel underwhelmed. Disappointingly, the brand hasn’t really progressed all that much since 2013. It goes without saying that the stoning and the embroidery and sequins are stunning and would make anyone feel like a princess but from a critical point of view, I’m just not seeing anything new here. Whereas I feel like Elie Saab, for example, reflected the growing fascination with East Asian fashion and recognition of the supremacy of the region’s street style in his haute couture last collection, Zuhair Murad seems to be stuck designing the same dresses he was 6 years ago. 

To pick one example, the rounded stoned necklines are so outdated that they’ve been making their way onto department store prom dresses for years. I get that it’s supposed to be a reference to Ancient Egyptian style and I respect that, I was one of those 8 year old that was obsessed with mummies and the “Curse of Tutankhamun”, but couldn’t it be done in a more interesting way? It’s Maria Grazia’s spin on Ancient Greece all over again. Now I get how how the I imagine very niche subsection of people who are into fashion and Julius Caesar (okay, so I don’t even know if they still believed in mythology and all that malarky at that point in history but just roll with my comparison here) might’ve felt going through Vogue Runway. Anyway, I hate to end on a critical note and so be clear, these are still absolutely magnificent dresses. If we ignore those ugly round necklines, that is.

So that’s it for this post! If you read part 1 and 2, I hope you enjoyed it! As always, let me know your opinions and feel free to disagree. I’m literally just about to start trawling through all the A/W 2020 RTW collections though I imagine that’s gonna take me way longer to do than this, so I wouldn’t expect that for a month or two. In the meantime, I’m trying to fit shooting a Euphoria-inspired lookbook into my days off work which is looking atm like it’s going to be the end of March, so look out for that, and also a review of the red carpet fashion from this season’s award shows. 

As ever, thank you so much for reading and again, thank you for the reception on part 1 if you were one of the people that read it. It makes staying up til 3am with the jitters seem worthwhile, lol! 

Lauren x

[thesilverheroineproject]

Kate Zambreno’s Heroines is a hard book to read. Every page is a reckoning with the unbearable phallocentrism of Writing as An Institution, and for the reader who’s also a marginalised, struggling writer and/or female, it’s a memory trigger. There’s a thread running through Heroines that memory-work is political. That the literary canon is “a memory campaign that verges on propaganda, that the books remembered are the only ones worth reading.” It’s impossible to review the book dispassionately. Zambreno’s style invites personal recollection; it’s affecting, and in order to get what she’s doing with this book one has to be able to feel it.

Heroines is part literary criticism, part literary history, part memoir, part feminist polemic. In its form and in its writing, Heroines is what the author is trying to rescue and reclaim: to use Zambreno’s favourite words, it's messy, girly, and excessive. It’s also sharp, finely-structured, and meticulously (voraciously) researched. Heroines grew out of Zambreno’s blog, Frances Farmer is My Sister, or more precisely, the blog grew out of ideas for a book. In an interview with The Rumpus, Zambreno talks about her earlier plans to write a fictionalised notebook titled “Mad Wife”—and is comprised of many things, but is most clearly made up of equal parts rage and reflection.

Zambreno began blogging after her partner took up a university job in Akron, Ohio, and the early sections of Heroines record much of what Zambreno finds stultifying and destabilising about being The Wife in a new place: “I have become used to wearing, it seems, the constant pose of the foreigner.” Like Helene Cixous in “Coming to Writing”, Zambreno begins to form an invisible community—communing with the women writers and the “mad wives of modernism”—a community borne out of invention, yes, but also need. The brutal honesty with which Zambreno recognises her particular condition—“I am realising you become a wife, despite the mutual attempt at an egalitarian partnership, once you agree to move for him”—is both disruptive and comforting to the reader. Here is a truth alongside other truths and someone is finally speaking it, but here is the truth and we must now face it.

At the end of reading Heroines, I had accumulated about 17 pages of handwritten notes. Heroines brought into clear view for me names that had only circulated vaguely around my head from an undergraduate survey course in Modernism in Literature. Perhaps my professors had mentioned Zelda Fitzgerald and Vivien(ne) Eliot’s writing, but then why didn’t I remember any of it? The result is that I read the early sections of Heroines with a kind of numb shock. As Maggie Nelson writes in her blurb for the book, “if you didn’t know much [about the “wives” of modernism], your mouth will fall open in enraged amazement.” Vivien(ne) and Tom’s troubled and troubling marriage; Vivien(ne)’s writing cast aside, T.S. Eliot the writer winning the Nobel Prize a year after her death—after he left her, after he hid in bathrooms allowing his secretaries to calm his “mad” wife, after using her lines, her typing services, and disregarding her worth as her writer. Vivien(ne) with her female maladies, staining the bedsheet red. Zambreno tells us of what Vivien(ne)’s brother said to Michael Hastings, the British playwright who wrote Tom & Viv: “Viv’s sanitary towels always put a man off.”

Dear reader, I read that and saw red.

These “wives” of modernism didn’t just suffer at the hands of various men, including their husbands, but were also negated or ignored, made invisible or an object of derision by other women, particularly women writers like Virginia Woolf who had to slay their own demons both in life and on the page. Woolf, who so memorably and wittily describes Vivien(ne) as “this bag of ferrets … Tom wears around his neck”. Zambreno writes: “I think of Viv as the mad double Virginia both identifies with and wants to disassociate herself from.” And this is perhaps also something that infuses Elizabeth Hardwick’s critical writings of other women writers.

Hardwick’s essay on Zelda Fitzgerald in Seduction and Betrayal is curiously committed to omitting the recognition of gender and patriarchal norms; she talks of Zelda and Scott as being twins, and how “only one of the twins is the real artist”, seemingly complacent in her acceptance of the accepted notion that F. Scott Fitzgerald was the real artist while his wife was merely mildly talented, but more of a dilettante. It seems like a neverending senseless loop, this question of artistry, genius, and legitimacy: only a real artist like F. Scott Fitzgerald would be acclaimed; thus, because F. Scott is acclaimed, he is the real artist. Nowhere in this interrogation does Hardwick devote much attention to how phallocentrism structures the creative output of men and women, and how it structures how those works are received. As Zambreno points out, even while Hardwick seems sympathetic to Zelda’s situation, she seems keen to distance herself from that kind of “mess”, to render a particular form of female experience as sick, perhaps, and dysfunctional, and therefore something to be pitied but not common or predictable or in any way relatable.

But then I think of Linda Wagner-Martin’s biography of Zelda, and how she writes that “Zelda’s crack-up gave [Scott] both alibi and cover.” If men’s wives are officially mad—diagnosis confirms it!—then men are never to blame. Badly-behaving, outright misogynist husbands can be forgiven, excused, comforted, and indulged. But as Zambreno points out through all her meticulous research of these ignored and sidelined women, all Zelda wanted to do was whatever she needed to do at the time: write, using her own life—herself—as the material. This made the Real Writer of the marriage, the husband, really, really angry. Scott tells Zelda, “You were going crazy and calling it genius.” Hardwick seems to buy this assessment in her essay. Zambreno explains: “In a way, Hardwick’s essay reads as an elaborate defense of the supreme rights of (male) artist.” Wagner-Martin, in her biography: “The irony of the Scott-Zelda relationship from the start, however, was that Scott regularly usurped Zelda’s story.”

Heroines is thus also a meditation on writing and the act of creation: whose lives count as “material”, and who gets to use and shape the material into the story? Whose hand guides the words? When it’s women who are mining their own lives for both material and meaning, it’s all-too easily seen as easy, lazy, unreflective, unworthy work. “The self-portrait, as written by a woman, is read as somehow dangerous and indulgent,” Zambreno writes, and asks, “Why is self-expression, the relentless self-portrait, not a potentially legitimate form of art?” For me, these questions bring up attendant questions about writing and accountability, about how the need to create can be an almost-parasitical hunger that feeds on people’s lives, even (or perhaps especially) their own.

Zambreno takes exception to Toril Moi’s aversion to a certain type of women’s confessional writing in Sexual/Textual Politics, where Moi dismisses it as a kind of “narcisstic delving into one’s own self”. Yet these are questions that trouble me, and I can’t oppose them as clearly as Zambreno does, to see all objection to narcissism (or even the use of the term narcissism) as a form of censorship that attempts to silence women’s writing. Clearly the fact of sexism structures how writing and publishing operate as an institution, and Zambreno certainly makes a fine case about just how openly and covertly patriarchy attempts to silence women’s voices that do not fit its image of “good woman”.

But I also wonder about the dangers of looking inward, the idea of the self that might harden and become its own kind of hegemony. The danger when one starts to believe that one’s condition doesn’t reveal a particular human condition, but is the human condition. Can looking inward feed upon itself so thoroughly that it, does, in fact, become a form of narcissism? Where you’re so attuned to your own pain that you’re unable to recognise the pain of others, or worse, imagine that your pain is the pain of others?

I recognise that a big part of Zambreno’s project in Heroines is its effort of reclamation: as such, she tells the stories of the neglected, abandoned, derided writers and writer-wives of literary history in order to project a different, erased history. As such, her perspective is clear and focus is sharp: these women are rescued from formerly patriarchal narratives and given new forms of being in the pages of Heroines. Still, all of these women are white, and most of them come from a background with roots in bourgeois respectability, and so I recognise that while another story is being told, the whole story is, perhaps, still unclear.

Heroines is a record of how these women were wronged, and it’s a necessary intervention into both literary history and criticism, but we don’t hear anything about how these women may have used their class and social position and their whiteness in order to get ahead, how they may have exploited other people, people who were economically, politically, and socially positioned as middle and upper class white women’s lesser others. (I think of Toni Morrison’s 1989 interview in Time magazine, quoted in Nina Power’s One Dimensional Woman, where Morrison talks about the old-boys network and the “shared bounty of class.” Although many of the women writers Zambreno writes about were often deprived of independent income, and some even fell into poverty, I still wonder about the class networks and social connections that may have worked in their favour, even when patriarchy stood in the way.)

As such, these women tend to come off uniformly victimised, wholly victims of patriarchy and nothing else. And while I recognise Zambreno’s need to record instances of “girl-on-girl” crime, it also makes me somewhat uncomfortable—as though all writing by women, then, is somehow necessarily above criticism. This is a grey and complex area, obviously, but I can’t help but wonder if this lets women writers off the hook a little too easily. Criticism from other women critics can often stem from internalised sexism, no doubt, but other forms of criticism take to task certain forms of confessional writing by women writers because it stays silent on issues of race, class, and sexuality, or worse, considers those issues unimportant in relation to one’s own work. Zambreno writes:

"This idea that one must control oneself and stop being so FULL of self remains a dominating theory around mental illness, and, perhaps tellingly, around other patriarchal laws and narratives, including the ones governing and disciplining literature."

This is certainly true, but I would rather not see it as an either/or option: either write, FULL of self, or suppress the self and suffer. The problem of writing the self is that the self can become all-encompassing, preventing the writer from hearing the stories of others. Being full of self can work as a form of self-care and self-preservation, and this is necessary, but sometimes the self needs to be shattered open into recognising and accepting other possibilities. So there is a danger, perhaps, in not interrogating statements like “The subaltern condition of being a literary wife,” when literary wives may at least get a stab at writing and giving voice to their thoughts on the page, while the true subaltern (may speak, write, shout, scream) and remain unheard by ears that are trained only to listen to the voice of the self or voices that sound similar to the self. There is a form of power in writing, despite how it’s received—and perhaps this is a power that is all too conveniently ignored by those of us who do write.

And Zambreno does exhort her girl readers/writers to write—“to write and refuse erasure while we’re living at least”—and is ecstatic about the proliferation of Tumblrs, blogs, and Livejournals by girls and young women that are at turns “emo, promiscuous, gorgeous, dizzying, jarring, irreverent, cinephilic, consumed, consuming, wanting, wiity, violent, self-loathing or self-doubting”, to quote just some of her adjectives, I’m also wondering about the attendant tyranny of these forms of social media and blog platforms that demand and require the personal. If we’re writing on the internet we’re using some if not most of this technology, and all of us are daily exhorted to share, divulge, like, favourite, promote, or take a gpoy or a selfie.

While it’s true that many subvert the rules of engagement on social media and blog platforms—by posting deliberately unappealing selfies, for example, or selfies of the ungroomed self—the internet is also run by corporations who try to exploit, in increasingly covert and “creative” ways, users’ personal information. And the young, pretty, wayward girl is now profitable data in a still (still!) sexist society. So much of girls’ writing online, like in the case of Marie Calloway, is (still!) used against them. One thinks about the problem of encouraging girls to write and also to be responsible and accountable to themselves and to each other; the problem of how to use oneself and one’s loved ones as material or content with care in a culture of increased surveillance, especially when the technology we use for writing and performing is also the technology that enables the surveillance and scrutiny.

In her earlier works of fiction O Fallen Angel and Green Girl, Zambreno gave us devastating yet finely-wrought portraits of girls in distress—portraits of acute suffering, where the girl in question (Maggie in O Fallen Angel, Ruth in Green Girl) is unable to consider the world outside of her because she is, in some ways, trapped inside. This, I think, is a testament to Zambreno’s intelligence and artistry—and a cultivated sense of empathy—and also a searing portrait of the fractious and unstable female self and its relation to mental illness. An important theme in Heroines is the institutionalisation and medicalisation of women—how the same misogyny that brings about or catalyses the splits in self in the female subject is the same misogyny that is applied to treat and “cure” it, and it is in these passages that Zambreno is particularly acute, sensitive, and moving. As she points out, language is itself complicit: “I’ve always found the language of borderline personality diagnosis, a label assigned to women almost entirely, compelling in that it’s an identity disorder which is defined almost exclusively by not actually having an identity.” Zambreno writes about always having had a “tremendous fear of being institutionalised”—and relates this to how works and canonised:

"(She was institutionalized, as Mad Woman, as Bad Wife, and he was institutionalized, as the Great American Author.)"

Institutionalisation is also a memory campaign, where the man-artist is generalised and the woman-artist individualised. I’d like to think of Heroines as a cure for this wilful, institutionalised amnesia. It’s a book that has lodged itself in my mind and likely to stay there for a long time, despite, or maybe even because of some of my problems with certain sections of the book. It seems fitting to let Zambreno have the last word:

"Fuck the canon. Fuck the boys with their big books."

[destinychose-a]

What was Haruki’s relationship with their parents/sibling(s) like?

Haruki had what many might call an idyllic relationship with their parents. Born to a well-respected mother and father with wealthy, prestigious backgrounds, they wanted for nothing and grew up in comfort. They were well-loved, accepted, cared for and doted upon during the first seven years of their life.

They had a strong bond with both their mother and father; their mother, Ayano, offered Haruki unconditional support and taught them the meaning of kindness no matter the circumstances, and their father, Syouhei, taught them the importance of respect directed at oneself and others, and eventually tutored them in the way of the sword.

Haruki’s relationship with their younger sister, Maiko, was full of warmth and love in the brief time they spent together. From the moment she was born, Haruki spent time with her often, doting on her, watching on in excitement as she took her first steps and cheering for her as she spoke her first words. Unfortunately, she was taken from the world not long after her second birthday, something Haruki regrets deeply and carries with them, often wondering what kind of person she might have grown into had she survived the demon attack that slaughtered their entire family.

Does Haruki prefer being in a crowd or being completely alone? How many people can be around them before they get uncomfortable?

As they struggle with severe claustrophobia, Haruki tends to grow extremely uncomfortable in big crowds, especially in cities, to the point of suffering from panic attacks. So long as they have plenty of personal space, without being jostled or pushed, they find it slightly easier to cope in smaller, interspersed crowds. However, they typically much prefer to be alone, or around as few people as possible. The only person they really allow into their personal space without the need for a prior warning is their partner, Aoto.

How open is Haruki to trying new things? Are they the adventurous sort, or would they rather stay in their comfort zone?

As a self-proclaimed inventor, Haruki thrives on all things new and exciting, following where their imagination takes them. They’re always open to trying something new, particularly pertaining to any new ideas for inventions they’ve been wanting to try and create ( whether they involve weapons, new prototypes for a prosthetic, or other contraptions intended to make their life easier ). While they certainly have a comfort zone they stick to, in terms of their preference for quieter spaces, when confronted with an idea, their excitement over the thought of creating something new easily outweighs their need for personal comfort.

Is Haruki more likely to follow instructions exactly, throw them out and figure it out on their own, or make it all up? What are the results like?

As far as Haruki is concerned, instructions are more like guidelines ( or, if you will, a mere suggestion ) than anything else. They much prefer being able to figure things out on their own and even consider it as a challenge to see if they can reach the same result without the aid of instructions. In some cases, this works to their favour. In others, especially in regards to cooking, it can end in disaster.

How difficult is it for Haruki to get to sleep? Do they fall asleep the moment they hit the pillow, or do they have insomnia? Any reason why?

Since the loss of their family, Haruki has struggled greatly with chronic insomnia, brought on by extreme stress, the development of depression and the ongoing effects of PTSD. Some days are naturally worse than others, but they typically struggle to get to sleep and stay asleep, prompting them to spend their nights out in their workshop until the early hours of the next morning ( unless stopped by their partner ). For the most part, the most amount of sleep they’ll manage a night is around 4 hours, with the least being 1-2.

How does Haruki handle being sick? Do they pretend not to be? Do they complain a lot? How susceptible to getting sick are they?

While they don’t get sick very often, Haruki hates it with a passion when they do, as it’s often an illness that knocks them for six for up to a week. The feeling constant of fatigue and being unable to focus the way they wish to is something they loathe above almost everything else. Haruki has a bad tendency of attempting to hide any illnesses they might be suffering from ( regardless of severity ) and work through it until collapsing with exhaustion or being figured out by Aoto ( or a close friend ).

How easily does Haruki throw something away? As soon as something is through with its usefulness, or are they more like a hoarder? Is there a reason?

Whether or not Haruki keeps an item is dependent on a variety of things. They’re not immune to emotional attachment to items ( they’ve kept their very first prosthetic, as well as many pieces of art gifted to them by Aoto ), but they can also be somewhat merciless when it comes to throwing things away. As soon as an item outlives its usefulness, they have no problem with getting rid of it or finding a way to repurpose it, especially if it’s an old invention. They’re constantly breaking down prototypes or failed experiments in order to reuse old parts, regardless of the memories attached to it.

What does Haruki’s workspace look like? Are they neat, or are they messy?

Despite their ruthlessness when it comes to throwing things away, they’re somehow always surrounded by piles of what might seem like junk to outsiders. However, Haruki simply lives in an ‘organised’ state of chaos — everything has its specific place that they have come to know by heart, even if it appears random and completely lacking in a system. Every now and then they can be convinced to have a tidy up ( sometimes they even discover things they hadn’t realised were there, much to their joy ), but within a few days, their workshop is back to looking like a disorganised mess.

Is Haruki a workaholic, or do they find it hard to be busy at all? Do they find it easy to relax, or must they have something to do at all times? Why?

Due to their ongoing battle with insomnia, Haruki finds it extremely easy to lose track of time when working on their inventions. They have a bad tendency of shutting themselves away for hours ( sometimes even days, particularly when their partner is away on missions ) without eating or sleeping. When away from their workshop, they often find themselves thinking up new ideas to work on as soon as they return. They struggle when they don’t have something to do to keep their hands and mind busy: they need to be stimulated in some way to remain focused a task, especially if it’s something they don’t ideally want to be doing.

How long can Haruki stay focused on one task before they get bored? Do they constantly have to switch things up or do they hyperfocus? What sort of things is it the opposite for?

Haruki’s attention span is entirely dependent on the task at hand. If it involves something they’re passionate about ( particularly involving the creation of weaponry or how specific contraptions work ), it can often be difficult to tear them away from it until their desire for knowledge has been fully sated, but when their task is something they consider tedious, it can be difficult to hold their attention for longer than a couple of hours at a time.

Is Haruki afraid of touch or do they actively seek it out? Is there a reason for this? What are the exceptions?

Haruki is not afraid of touch, but nor do they actively seek it out. They exist somewhere in the middle: they don’t particularly crave physical touch, but they don’t dislike it either and will in many cases indulge in it when offered. It’s rare for them to initiate any act of physical comfort outside of a friendly pat or squeeze of the shoulder. 

The biggest exception to this is, of course, when it comes to their partner, Aoto. Against all rhyme and reason, they find themselves seeking him out for affection, leaning against his side or reaching out to take his hand. 

Another exception to this is when they are faced with younger children. Ever haunted by the loss of their baby sister, Haruki has a soft spot for children and young teenagers and hates to see them in any kind of despair. In a cruel world such as theirs, Haruki believes they deserve as much kindness and attention as they can offer if only to temporarily ease a little of their suffering — this often comes in the form of hugs and head pats.

[suits-of-woe]

Hi! Multiples of 4 for Edmund on the headcanon ask??? Thank you so much!❤️

Thank you!!! I know I never shut up about my boy, thank you for continuing to enable me. This is gonna be really, really long I can’t wait…

I’ll tag @princess-of-france too :)

4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

I don’t really feel like Edmund cooks. He’s practical but he’s also rich and has better things to do, so I imagine his diet is like 50% black coffee and energy bars he keeps stashed around the house and 50% super expensive meals he manages to make other people pay for. So in that case he’d probably just eat one of the aforementioned energy bars (or ask some even-richer woman out to dinner for the night, cause he’s like that).

8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

Oh man. Sex. SO much sex. To the point where it’s a legitimate problem, even though he doesn’t see it as one. The thing is, I don’t think he’s super pro-indulgence as a rule – in fact, he probably looks down on people who don’t have good self-control, especially when it comes to things that are proven to be bad, like over-eating or smoking or things like that. But sex doesn’t fall into that category for him, all the reasons he’s been told to avoid it he sees as moralist bullshit, and it’s fun and it’s not hurting anyone so fuck you, why shouldn’t he do it? The issue is deep down sex is also a huge coping mechanism for him, and the only way he knows how to deal with his intense obsession with affection without just 100% repressing it all the time or, worse, being emotionally vulnerable. But I don’t think he realizes how much it’s become a psychological need for him, and how hard it would be to stop. It’s not that he couldn’t stop, he’d say. It’s just that stopping is exactly what all those moralist assholes he hates would want him to do, so why should he?

12. Favorite book genre?

Edgy social commentary probs. I don’t picture Edmund really being the type to read much fiction, but at the same time, I think certain books mean a lot to him. He’s spent his whole life concealing his controversial views on religion, fate, society, sex, basically everything from Gloucester (and to a lesser extent Edgar) in favor of putting on the guise of a perfect traditionally moral son so I think being able to deal with all those hidden ideas through reading about then would really help. He’s probably got a whole hidden stash somewhere in his room he knows his father will never find.

16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?

His biggest long term goal is just to rise to the top as much as he can. I don’t think he’s the kind of person who likes to set limits on his own ambition – he looks at opportunities one step at a time, but if the doors keep opening, who is he to stop? If he can be Gloucester’s heir? Great. If he can overthrow Gloucester entirely? Better. If he can become king? Best of all, but hell, even then he might not stop. Smallest? Ummm idk maybe get his space totally organized. I feel like he’s the kind of person whose organization never quite catches up with his work, and he always says he’s got better things to do than shuffle papers around, but it secretly kind of drives him crazy so he’d like to be totally neat someday.

20. Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

I imagine Edmund has always been pretty robust and healthy (unlike Edgar, probably) and never really got sick that often, even as a kid. That said, on the rare occasion that he did, I think it was a really bad time for him. Cause like I’ve talked about a million times I think Edmund is very driven by his constant deep need for affection, but it’s the kind of thing he can usually repress on a day-to-day basis as long as all his inhibitions are intact. When they aren’t intact, 9 times out of 10 it’s because he’s drunk/high, which is almost always in some kind of party setting, which means he’s pretty much guaranteed to be able to find someone to at least make out with for a bit to make those feelings go away. But if he’s sick enough to be feverish, it’s pretty much the only time he’s both emotionally uninhibited and unable to use sex as a coping mechanism, and it doesn’t go well. Plus with Edgar being more fragile (and, in my headcanon, his mother dying from sickness at an early age too) Gloucester pretty much keeps all members of the family away from him for fear of anything spreading, so he’s pretty much all alone and left with all that unadulterated loneliness he’s not used to feeling half this much and it’s bad. It’s really bad. He tries not to think about it.

24. Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

He’s honestly ahead of the curve in pretty much every subject. He’s a brilliant silver-tongued wordsmith, he’s a super logic and evidence-driven thinker which I think would make him great at math and science, he’s athletic too, and just generally sharp and good at picking up new things. The only thing I think he’d be bad at is any interpretation of art (and to a lesser extent literature) because I think he’d get too frustratingly literal about it – it’s just lines on a page, dammit, it doesn’t mean anything, people will try to find patterns out of anything but the real world is meaningless and there’s nothing really there. In terms of what interests him the most though, it’s politics, which is what drives him insane because that’s the one thing he’ll never be allowed to pursue.

28. Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

Depends on the era of his life. I don’t think he has anyone he considers even a real friend, let alone a best friend, when we see him in the play. When he was younger he would have said Edgar, but that ship sailed a long time ago. Now, he doesn’t really do genuine friendship. There are people he likes, but no one he wouldn’t throw under the bus in a heartbeat if that’s what it took. Similarly, I think he tries not to see anyone as his worst enemy. It’s the world that’s his enemy, and society, and it’s a matter of a lot more than taking down one person to beat that. But really, I think it’s Gloucester he hates more than anyone. That part of the plan is more personal than he’d probably admit.

32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?

He’s not big on them…until they become something he can’t have. Like he’s certainly not the overly-sentimental type to hang onto things he doesn’t need, and I think he sees a lot of material wealth and status symbols as really inherently shallow. But the second those shallow wealth and status symbols are denied him, or used to mark him as lesser, then he’ll be damned if he’s not getting his hands on them if it’s the last thing he does.

36. What makes them feel guilty?

People actually loving and respecting him on their own, not because he manipulated them or did them favors or somehow cheated to get their approval. So much of how he justifies everything he does is the fact that, as a bastard, he thinks he’ll never have half a shot at the advantages everyone else gets, so if he wants anyone to approve of him or admire him or show him affection he has to manipulate the hell out of them (or the situation in general) to get it. He’s convinced himself it’s the only way, so when that’s proven wrong, it rocks his world. There’s a reason “Yet Edmund was belov’d” comes the line before finally changes his mind and tries to do something good.

40. Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

Both? One? Or neither? Neither can be en- just kidding it’s BOTH and it’s a problem. He’s been looked down on his entire life for being a bastard and that cuts deep, it always has, no matter how hard he tries to shrug it off. He’ll never really get rid of the idea that he’s lesser, or at least everyone considers him lesser, so he has to claw his way to every bit of advantage and approval he can get. But he also really believes that birth means nothing, that merit and intelligence and survival of the fittest should determine who rises to the top, and in that respect…he maybe overcompensated. Because he also manages to be a raging narcissist who thinks he’s smarter than everyone around him (to be fair, he mostly is) and is entitled to anything he can win for himself.

44. Religion?

MY EDGY ATHEIST KING. I think he’s super anti-religion, and anti-spirituality even more so – just anything that involves people blaming their fates or their decisions on forces out of their control or pretending like anything is just “meant to be” makes him incredibly angry. That does fall under the category of things he won’t admit to preserve his image though, he’ll grit his teeth through whatever religious proceedings are required of him if it’s to his advantage.

48. How do they express love?

Ummm badly? He craves other people’s love constantly, but him actually being the one feeling Real Love isn’t something he’s really prepared to deal with, and it kind of makes him freak out. By the time he’s really headed down the road of executing his plans, I think the main way he expresses love is by trying to get the people he loves far, far away from him and this world and his path of destruction. On a more general note though like I said in that post I made a while ago I think his main love language is physical touch, so when he’s not in such a dark place that either results in lots of hugs or lots of sex depending on the person.

[rwbyconversations]

The Princess and her Pauper- A Weiss/Emerald Character Contrast

One of the greatest weapons in the arsenal of a creator is the art of contrast. In storytelling, characters that contrast, often referred to as foils, can serve to highlight particular qualities of each other. How one acts to a situation and the other reacts. It’s why rivalries form the backbone of many a great story with conflict in its theme- why the most memorable moments in action titles like Devil May Cry 3 and Metal Gear Rising are when two rivals who serve as foils for each other come to blows in a winner-take-all clash of wills. Not all foils need be rivals, however- George and Lennie in Of Mice and Men are built as foils, with George being wire-thin and razor-sharp mentally while Lennie is a lumbering giant of a man with the intellect of a child. 

Rooster Teeth’s RWBY is a series that loves to set up connections between its central heroes of Team RWBY and the villainous factions under Salem. Although the connections between current villains Team WTCH and RWBY have not yet been solidified (Watts screentime when), RWBY’s initial foes in Team CRME (Cinder, Roman, Mercury and Emerald) all complimented aspects of RWBY’s personalities. Ruby and Cinder were both leaders, Ruby through example and optimism and Cinder through manipulation and fear, Blake dual-contrasted with Adam and Roman, Yang with Mercury and (regardless of what TVTropes tells you), Weiss contrasts with the sharp-tongued, fast-fingered gem thief Emerald Sustrai. 

Despite having not technically met in canon*, with their appearances relegated to sharing fights in the Volumes 2 and 3 OP, with their dialogue being two lines in a Chibi episode, Weiss and Emerald are almost perfect narrative foils for each other. I am convinced that they were purposefully written to contrast each other, and if/when Emerald has a redemption arc, you can be sure that this material will be used to show how similar Weiss and Emerald can be... not that either of them would admit it. And for the record? This is my OTP and Weiss and Emerald rank in my five favorite characters each, so this is going to be a self-indulgent mess. Consider it my two and three hundred follower specials wrapped into a neat little bow.

In this post, I am going to show the narrative, backstory and character contrasts between Weiss Schnee and Emerald Sustrai, and why I think they could have one of the best-written rivalries/friendships/bond in the entire show if Miles and Kerry play their cards right in the coming Volumes. As usual, the post is under the Read More for the sake of users on their phones.

(Art source: @nibbles-scribbles)

* (In before “Didn’t Weiss fight Em at Haven during the Checkmate scene?” offscreen doesn’t count and Let’s Not Talk About Haven This Is A Happy Post)

Part 1-  Lonely eyes, well, it sure looks like you just might be looking for something

Weiss and Emerald’s backstories on paper couldn’t be any different- which, again, is one of the purposes of narrative contrasts, connecting the impossible. Weiss lived in the lap of luxury her entire life, part of a family that probably had the combined net worth of half of the Fortune 500. The Schnee Dust Company was such a profitable venture that it bought out rival families and took them out of business. Weiss’s every need was catered for, she had a loyal servant in Klein, and became a popular attraction at parties thanks to her singing voice.

And she couldn’t have been more soul-crushingly alone. 

A young Weiss sits at a piano, basking in the praise of the adults around her

Weiss, narration: Words of praise were often overflowing around me. Whatever I did, with a little effort, I did better than average. I expected the praise as a matter of course and believed I deserved it all. As the daughter of the Schnee house, I would be the best. Nothing else would do. 

Weiss reaches out to her father who is walking away from her. The door shuts in her face. Weiss’s face comes into the panel. The smile is gone. 

Weiss, narration: My father felt the same way. So his indifference... was expected.  - RWBY Manga,Shirow Miwa

Weiss was little more than a toy when she was a child, something Jacques brought out for the guests to coo at, but they never cared for Weiss herself: 

Everyone only cared that I was part of the Schnee family, not that I was me. They were honoring the Schnee name. I thought all that praise was for me. It wasn’t. It messed with my head when I figured that out.

Weiss’s Volume 5 focus song, and the first chronological song about her, The Path to Isolation (AKA Mirror Mirror 0.5), is about when Weiss realizes how alone she is in Atlas with the realization that people only care about her for her money and surname, and not for Weiss as a person. We see this in person with her interactions with Henry Marigold in Volume 4 and Jacques spells it out later:

I don’t give a damn what you want! This isn’t about you!  

Miwa’s manga alongside Path To Isolation makes it clear that Weiss lived in the lap of luxury, but it was a cold, sterile lap where she never felt loved even with Klein’s presence and Winter’s distant love, thanks to Jacques’ distance driving Weiss further into her personal hell. Weiss lived a tragically lonely life in her childhood and its effects are still seen on her even in the present day. For a long time, all she was was an accessory to Jacques who got pushed into his obedient shadow.

Emerald’s backstory is less concrete than Weiss, but from what we do know it’s no less painful. She lived alone on the city streets with no parents (dead or neglectful we don’t know) or friends to look out for her, and every day was a struggle to survive. By the time we see Emerald in Volume 3′s flashback, she’s barely holding it together and is stick-thin.

Her clothes are frayed in various places, held together with belts and straps, and Emerald is nearly emaciated. She’s jumpy, paranoid and resorts to blatant daytime robbery of a jewel store just to cover the costs to get some food for a night. When Cinder finds Emerald, she finds a cornered street-rat barely staying alive. 

If Jacques manipulated Weiss through inaction, Cinder in turn twisted Emerald through action, providing the young thief everything she ever wanted. Cinder gave her a warm bed, food whenever she wanted it and possibly even the love of the mother that Emerald might not have had. Chibi Season 3 in fact had a skit where Emerald (within a dream) jokingly notes that Cinder really is “The mother figure I may- or may not- have never had.” Regardless, Cinder learned from Salem the best way to get people to follow you is to give them exactly what they want. She gave Roman some Dust and a chance to commit crimes, she gave Mercury a target and people to hurt, and she gave Emerald a sick, twisted lie. She made Emerald fall in love with her. 

I don’t care about Salem! But I owe Cinder everything.

Cinder twists Emerald around her finger and makes her almost entirely dependent on Cinder’s approval and love. And make no mistake, this is (at least from Emerald’s warped perspective, the poor girl) love. 

This is not the face of a heterosexual woman upon seeing Cinder Fall. 

Em sadly closing her eyes behind Cinder just... gets me, man. I care for that mint-ice-cream too much Jesus Christ.

Cinder, of course, doesn’t love her back. I don’t think Cinder knows what it means to love beyond that she can use other people’s love in her pursuit of power. She manipulated and tricked Emerald, making the thief fall for her in a worthless attempt to impress her. And every time Emerald stepped remotely out of line, even if by complete unintentional accident, Cinder harshly made her judgement clear and forced Emerald back into her obedient shadow. Cinder definitely didn’t love Emerald. But damn if she didn’t know how to abuse her.  

Emerald: We don’t need him (Mercury), everything was going fine- A slap is heard. Emerald shouts in pain. Cinder: Do not mistake your place.

As pointed out expertly by @alexkablob, Emerald’s body language when Cinder gets angry in this scene is very telling- she almost shrinks and hides herself, trying very hard to avoid Cinder’s wrath in that immediate moment. The mere threat of reprisal has Emerald assuming a more subservient position

Here’s what connects Weiss and Emerald from their backstories. Both had terribly lonely childhoods, with Weiss lonely in a crowd as she realized people only loved her for her money and name, and Emerald forced to live alone as a street rat with no one to rely on. Jacques manipulated Weiss through making her seek his approval which manifested as physical abuse, and Cinder as well manipulated and abused Emerald into falling in love with Cinder or seeing her as a replacement mother figure. Both were lonely children, abused and scorned by everyone around them, especially those who had the most direct power over them. Both of them, tragically, are victims of those above them who see them as tools and not even as people. Ones who occasionally fall out of line and need... percussive maintenance to fix. Weiss and Emerald have some of the darkest backstories in RWBY and in their tragedy, they compliment each other beautifully. 

(Source: @nibbles-scribbles, who gave me permission to use her art)

Part 2: Sight Unseen

Now that we’ve covered their backstories, let’s actually contrast Emerald and Weiss on a fighting and character level. 

Weiss and Emerald fight each other in the OPs for Volumes 2 and 3. They are so far on the very small list of fights in the OPs that have never occurred and are in fact the only notable fight to not happen ever four years since it was first teased, especially since it happened in two sequences. 

Both characters use revolver mechanisms in their weapons- Weiss for her Dust and Emerald for a ranged component. Both are agile fighters who dart around the battlefield and can be very damaging in the right circumstances and are the most fragile member of their respective teams (Weiss having the worst solo win/loss record of anyone on RWBY and Emerald being a stealth fighter who dropped very quickly when Amber focused fire on her being my evidence). 

What’s interesting in contrasting the two is their Semblances. Emerald creates vivid hallucinations for a single target that effects all five of their senses but ultimately is a purely mental effect on the subject’s reality. Her Semblance can’t create physical matter. However, Weiss’s Semblance is a purely physical one that lets her influence and change reality on a primal, physical level- be it for Glyphs, time dilation or using Summoning to create physical constructs to fight for her. Depending on if Weiss’s Summons can be affected by Emerald’s hallucinations (or if Weiss being hit with Em’s Semblance has consequences for her Summons), the two could serve as hard counters in the event of a fight. 

Long story short a fight between these two would be really cool.

Character wise, one of the more interesting bits of contrast between Weiss and Emerald is how they approach friendship. Both are equally sardonic and have razor-sharp wits on anyone who irks them, but while Weiss is cold at first and softens as she gets to know and trust people, Emerald throws up a facade of being chummy with people, a facade she hates. If her friendship with Mercury is anything to go by, Emerald can make some very biting remarks at the expense of those she’s close to. If her love for Cinder is anything to go by however, Emerald is very tender and affectionate when it comes to the people she loves. She rushes to give Cinder a hug in Volume 2 and in Volume 4, acts as Cinder’s translator, being almost sickeningly tender and rushing to come to Cinder’s side when she asks. 

And while Emerald’s a villain, it would be a shame to waste a rivalry between her and Weiss. Both are passionately devoted to their leaders and are willing to cross the world for them and fight in this endless war for them (note how Weiss volunteers for the war while Emerald is drafted). Emerald hates Ruby because she maimed Cinder at Beacon, while Weiss hates Cinder because... bitch shoved a spear in her. It’s more than enough conflict to kickstart a rivalry and as proven despite their lack of screentime, the contrasts between them write themselves.

Part 3) Dry your eyes now, baby, broken wings can’t hold you down

In the event (by which I mean when) Emerald undergoes a redemption arc and leaves Cinder, Weiss will definitely play a significant role in facilitating her joining the heroes, much like Blake did with Ilia. Weiss is honestly the only RWBY member who really can facilitate this redemption in the coming Volumes- Ruby will likely never forgive Emerald for her role in Penny’s death, Blake has basically done this arc already for Ilia, and Yang will be too caught up in her Raven/Blake issues. I have no doubt that Blake’s own abusive past can be used as a bonding point as well with Emerald (a common vector used for fans of the rare ship Cat Burglar), but Weiss perhaps more than anyone else shares a fundamental understanding of Emerald’s “love.” The love of someone determined to win any shred of approval that they can from the monster that haunts their nightmares every night. 

Given how Emerald has allusions to Aladdin and Weiss is Snow White, their relationship also works in referencing their fairytale sources- Aladdin saves Jasmine in his story, after all. Rags to ritches is also one of the most prolific tales out there, especially ones where a person destined for greatness falls in love with a member of high society and rises through the ranks. Weiss is a princess after all, and every princess does need her pauper so that she may find true love. Weiss has already tried her hand as the upper echelons of society romantically (Henry and Neptune) and they were found lacking.  

(Source. Art by @nibbles-scribbles​)

In some cases, literally. 

Does this need to mean a romantic connection, especially when Emerald will be coming off her last lover being abusive? Perhaps not, but a close bond between them would be impossible to avoid. However, a romantic attachment between Emerald and Weiss would be a beautiful thing to see develop. Two women, nearly broken down by their oppressive abusers, coming together and helping each other heal from their past traumas? I don’t know about you but that sounds like it could be a great story to me. Emerald already wears a lot of white too, so their color schemes unite smoothly. 

To conclude this extended love letter, Emerald and Weiss are two sides of the same coin. Young women beaten down and abused by those with power over them who had desperately lonely childhoods. Women who developed into strong and capable warriors with Semblances that altar different facets of reality, who could have a natural rivalry that leads into a smooth friendship and maybe even more beyond, all of which could be backed by organic references to both of their fairytale sources and allow for a wonderful string of character development for Weiss and Emerald as they heal from their past traumas. This may be a rare ship, one that may have gotten all the references it ever will when Emerald complimented Weiss’s dress.

But damnit. It’s my rare ship and I’ll go down with it, I’ve made too many great friends thanks to it. If you’d like to see more EmWeiss content, check out my great friends @goldibox, @dabby-the-house-elf (the main for @nibbles-scribbles whose seminal art I’ve used throughout this piece), SassyUnicorn7′s A Fight To Remember (one of the best fanfics for both EmWeiss and Yang/Merc, and Sassy herself is a delight to know who lights up my day when I get to talk to her).

(Thanks to @weisscoldglare for this)

Thanks again for reading. 

[aleatoryalarmalligator]

Life Story 104

My father ended up taking Allison out to visit my eldest sister Maria. Since I had stopped being Maria's live in babysitter three years previous, Maria had messed up her job at Walmart, and gave up everything to follow this creepy new boyfriend named Dan. None of us really knew much about Dan, other than Maria was doing hard drugs with him and things seemed off. She didn't let us see Jasmine, Ian, Chantelle or JT anymore. They lived out in the middle of nowhere with Dan's parents in a part of Idaho where, if you went any further you would be in in the official government owned Wilderness area. None the less, Allison had wanted to see them, and my father and her had driven out to visit.

What my father reported was disturbing. He claimed that the living conditions were so bad that someone needed to call CPS on them. He was friendly towards Dan in order to gain his trust, and what he discovered was that Maria was full of bruises, there was no running water, no toilet – only a hole that Dan had forced Maria's kids to dig. The kids were being forced into harsh manual labor. Dan was creepy, psychotic and violent. My hope had been, upon hearing all of this information, to inform my mother, and maybe I could get Jasmine – she could live with me and I could help her. Maybe Chantelle could then live at my mother's, and Ian and JT could go to one of their aunts on their father's side. Someone needed to do something. If my father was worried, that meant something. He wasn't the type to fret about other people's children, but what he had seen had been shocking enough to cause him distress.

Anymore, I was always shaky. I was burning out. That year had simply thrown too much in my lap. I had too many contradictions in my nature, my friendships and anything grounded had pretty much fallen apart. Though I have always had the tendency towards over analyzing things and towards questioning reality, it had just really become too much. I had grown so much that year, but it was almost too fast. I now felt like a completely different person than I had been a year previous. I was in shock. I seemed more confident and together than I had ever been in my entire life, I laughed a lot for instance and had developed a lot of social skills. I now had a little bit of money to spend and I looked better than I had since I was a child. But internally, I didn't understand how I was still standing. Internally I was losing it, pride was keeping me standing, as well as the expectation and fear of going backwards. I was realizing more and more that nothing I could do or say would make a difference. I felt like I had been struggling against some invisible wall, and it didn't matter if I screamed and cried or tried to reason with anyone or break that wall. No matter what, I was where I was, and the more I said, the worse I made things.

I went with Sarah one more time for one of Zack's little excursions. This time he was visiting his friend Cody, the very same one that murdered that kid in the 90's, because of course Zack was such a piece of trash that his best friend would be a murderous redneck. It was an outing in the same field that I had made those flower crowns while reading Jack Kerouac books years back. Cody had his wife Sara, a woman who was clearly abused and unhealthily proud of being Cody's woman. They had two little girls, and these two little girls were absolutely the most precious little girls I had ever met. While Sarah and Sara stood behind Zack and Cody and talked in the camp ground, I went down to the creek to play with the girls. I loved those girls. I could tell that Cody was mean to them because one of them whispered to me that she was afraid of when her father got mad at her mom, and I felt poorly about that.

Later on we went to Cody's house, but we didn't stay long. I didn't know what was going on with Zack and Sarah, but there seemed to be some tension around the fact that Zack had chickened out at the last minute about his job in North Dakota. It didn't matter to me anymore. I barely cared or paid attention. It almost felt to me like spending more time indulging Sarah's horrible relationship only kept it alive more. I had barely wanted to come with Sarah and Zack up to this visit to Cody's, and had mostly come with them as a favor to Sarah.

Zack and Sarah ended up getting into an argument, and Zack grabbed Sarah's sketchbook out of her hands and threw it in the woods. Watching this happen, I realized fully what little respect Zack really had for Sarah. The idea of taking someone's art and throwing it was massively disrespectful in a way that went beyond anything I had honestly really expected. I began to suspect that Zack wanted to hurt Sarah. He had this manic aggressive, mindless wired look in his eyes – this need to push Sarah down. When I watched Zack throw Sarah's sketchbook, I called him a manbaby. I wanted Sarah to understand that I didn't approve of what he had done. This of course made him more pissed off. We ended up with Zack driving us all home speeding and driving erratically down the road, to prove some sort of point to me and Sarah no doubt. He was babbling about how we didn't understand 'god's glory' and he was listening to this Christian electropop music that was pretty awful. When we got home and I was finally dropped off, I knew I was done with ever going anywhere with Sarah and Zack again. And I never did. If I saw Zack behave like that, I felt this surge sweep throughout my entire body, and I wanted to kill him. I feared losing control. It seemed massively insulting that Sarah had ruined our friendship for probably the worst person I had ever met. The reality of who Zack actually was was an insult to every precious little feeling or sense of love I had had for him all those years. And to add insult to injury, if Sarah was going to waste our friendship, I would have at least taken some pragmatic appreciation had Zack actually been a good boyfriend. But he wasn't, and the sham of his existence and Sarah's and his relationship insulted me and everything I stood for. He was so infuriatingly selfish and mean. I couldn't think of one decent attribute to him anymore, not one redeemable quality. Everything he had to say was phony, contrived and putrid. Zack was such trash, I never wanted to see him again.

I guess I still loved Josh. I knew Josh. It was crazy to feel like I just met this guy and now I knew him, but it was true, I really grasped all his negative and positive qualities. And I loved him, I understood him. It was real love. However, I couldn't be happy because Josh had pretty much made everything horrible very fast. Just as soon as he had warmed up to me, even acting a little bit interested in me, he had suddenly become really sullen and cynical towards me. He glared at me when I got home from work. And the situation with Allison made me sick to my stomach. As long as her feelings were involved, I vowed to never let myself be romantically inclined towards Josh. Honestly, the situation was so horrible to me that I just wanted out. As in love with Josh as I was, had someone given me the opportunity to move far away and start fresh in a new city where I knew nobody, I would have taken it. The situation had already been ruined before it ever began, so with every feeling of warmth or love came this awful sense that Allison was hurt and confused, and that Josh was basically waiting it out until he felt he had a chance with Sarah, which was a blow to my self esteem that made me insane if I let it. It felt like a repeat of what had happened with Sarah and Zack all over again. Only worse. Zack and I never really connected. I  think I  had wanted to be in love more than I actually was. With Josh, I was in love. I knew the difference, because I didn't feel fear of Josh. I was open, even when it was embarrassing, even when it was tempting to shut down. I was willing to put the preservation of my ego aside and I was willing to let someone have a part of me. I had always been too afraid to actually be open with someone like that before. I hadn't ever been real towards anyone before.

But it was also very much a reckless move on my part. Josh in his own strange way accepted my love for him. Once a few weeks rolled around and he realized I wasn't going to slit my wrists or jump in his bed while he slept or anything really insane, he silently implied that he accepted my love and took it into his life in a very real way that most people would only do if that same love had been requited. It was a gift I guess, but it hurt that it was a gift that he was more or less taking without anything in return. I absolutely refused to believe that he took that love and he wanted nothing to do with me. He didn't reject me. There were times and moments where he gave strong indication that he loved me back, but it was always very obscure language so that when I tried to talk about it with other people it didn't make any sense, because it was so tied into the very unique way Josh and I communicated. And sometimes he would stare into my eyes for minutes at a time. He did it intentionally. He wanted me to be invested in him. I had to believe it was for some end. Even if he thought he was in love with Sarah.

He stopped being as close with Allison when she became madly obsessed with him. She wasn't good at hiding her confusion, her anger, her resentments. She was jealous of me, jealous of Sarah. She felt betrayed. And for the time being, I really wanted nothing more than to make things better between us. Fuck Josh, he was a full grown man and I knew that my investment in him was kind of fucked up and on me. Fuck Sarah, she had made her own bed. David had pretty much eliminated my ability to be close to him ever again, but Allison was a victim. She had had a very rough year, and neither my mother or father truly appreciated what they had to her. Maybe I too should be in that boat. Truth be told, I never fully understood what I did that upset Allison and David so much. It's been seven years, and nobody has ever given me a straight answer. Nobody knows. I guess it was just something that was just something about who I was.

We finally moved into the new house. It was sort of big, but a lot of the rooms were very awkwardly set up. In fact, the whole house was basically awkward. Their were too many doors, the bathroom was between two bedrooms. It wasn't that nice of a house. And it was in the worst neighborhood in Clarkston. Methheads and junkies walked passed the house every five minutes, and there were several instances in my living there where strange people just walked into the place. Josh's car was stolen. The house was owned by a business behind the house that sold dirt bikes and four wheelers. They felt lucky to find someone move in at all. The house itself was well known as a former home with a meth lab and drug dealers in it. The paint was chipped, the yard was dead and covered in puncture weeds. It was a very hideous house. But it was my first real taste of independence and on some level, I was proud and happy to live there. There was something golden about having my own life that, despite all the social situational stuff I was now facing, far surpassed anything. Despite all the bad stuff, I was free.

My room was downstairs in the far corner of the basement. I didn't have much, but I brought what I did have into the room. There was a small open closet that I also put my bed in. This created a strange collection of dresses and shirts that hung above my head at night. I put up my Cramps and White Stripes pictures and Halloween decor. I set up my collection of books in cardboard boxes. I didn't own my own computer yet, and I didn't really have much.

The room next to mine was small, and Whitney stayed in there. Somehow she was able to fit a lot of her things in her room, and I realized that despite any fault I found with Whitney personally, her sense of aesthetics was 10/10. There was some part of Whitney that she never really expressed to anyone that I really liked. She lived her aesthetic and she did so unabashedly. Her living space was more than just a room. It was a piece of art in and of itself, not only a expression of her inner self, but a very atmospherically superior vibration that was consistent with itself resonated from everything she kept on her walls. Every part of her wall was covered in paintings she had done, in surreal lights, with pictures of musicians and people in her life. There were a lot of Hindu things in there. One got the sense that they were walking into a shrine. Being in her space was like being on a drug – but it was oddly calming despite the strange lighting and colors. She mostly smoked weed in there and listened to music and painted. If she wasn't doing that, she was getting ready for work, putting on her make up and doing her hair in flowers for her shift as a hostess at Zany's. I envied her ability to fill areas with beautiful and consistent color and art. She could be such a flawed person, but there was a loveliness about her that could never be denied.

Josh slept upstairs. He had an absurdly big bed that filled the entire room, and he kept his cableman uniforms in his closet. There was one painting Whitney had done for him of Ichigo from Bleach set awkwardly on the blaring white plaster wall, it was a bit grungy, but nothing was terribly out of order, and that was all he had in that room. Josh didn't really believe in personalized expression. He felt it was shallow, or maybe the idea of trying was absurd and felt like a contest against Whitney' aesthetics. He was a very weird and expressive person, but he liked being plain and anonymous. I always felt he was too afraid to really personally express himself – afraid to be open. He admired status in his items more than he admired anything sentimental. He wanted people to see him as a business man, and failing that he wanted very little to do with color. When he picked colors, he generally went for dull browns and corporate grays. It didn't necessarily appeal to me, but there was something kind of refreshing about the simplicity of it just the same.

Sarah and Zack camped in the other upstairs room. It was mostly a bed and a television so Zack could play video games and they could just lay there. Josh hated Zack living with him. He complained bitterly that it didn't seem fair to him that everyone in the house had to work except for Zack. Instead Sarah doted on Zack, feeding him, paying the rent on his behalf. Between all five of us though, the rent was only 125$ a month. It was ridiculously cheap.

Josh and Whitney ended up throwing a small party for the new house. They invited Melissa of course, as well as Valerie, Zack's other ex. Both Melissa and Valerie stared confusedly as Sarah with Zack. At the time Sarah didn't understand the look they were giving her, but later she realized they were repulsed and confused as to what a girl like her was doing with Zack. There were a few other people I didn't know. It wasn't very eventful and ultimately boring. I spent twenty minutes getting the feel of the living room, and ended up making it known that I thought that Zack looked like a blonde redneck Rasputin (on meth) which made Sarah and Zack wildly uncomfortable, before retreating back into my own bedroom to be away from the pointlessness of it all. I recall that Allison had written some new songs on guitar and she wanted to sing and play them for everyone who was there. Josh and Whitney had been obsessed with Allison all summer, and I think she really wanted to get attention for her artistic endeavors. She started to sing and play, and as soon as she did Josh ignored her to talk to Sarah. Eventually everyone was talking over Allison's song, and I was sitting next to her, the only person who was listening. Her eyes looked hurt. She got shaky, and she left the party to cry.

Walmart was just down the street. It was a two minute walk away. I could see the parking lot from the front porch of the new house. I didn't like Walmart, but given I didn't drive and it was so close to where I lived, and at times so cheap, I did a lot of shopping there. I hadn't really been a consumer up till that point. I had never had money to spare. When I went in grocery stores, up till that point I had always seen the items around me not in terms of anything I could ever own. They were décor that I wasn't really supposed to consider as potential objects that I was in possession of. So now that I had money in my pocket for the first time in my entire life, years after my peers had jobs and money of their own, I had a new power I had never had before, and having it come upon me at time that it did, I began to realize that buying stuff made me feel better. I had no friends, or at least no friends I could trust. But money filled that void. And perhaps it's safe to say that, in absence of something meaningful and wholesome, I began to use money to fill the hole of my existence. I could almost feel that hole in me, something so large it was a wonder at times I was able to continue to breath. It seemed strange to me that you could feel so horrible inside, but you could smile brightly and nobody would ever know. There was an anonymity to being in the crowd. Nobody knew that I was heartbroken or lost.

I began to wander around for hours in Walmart, sometimes very late in the night and early in the morning. I didn't really go crazy with shopping – never became a real hoarder or bought anything totally inexplicable, and if I did I had next to nothing in terms of things I owned, so it did little harm whenever I did splurge. I bought a lot of dumb stuff, things I had thought I wanted when I was younger but could never afford until now. Maybe I was buying gifts for the former teenager I had once been. I bought cheap jewelry, only to take it home and realize that deep down I didn't like it and it was cheaply made. But in the store I felt disembodied, a certain numbness of suggestibility. Something in the colors and the packaging subconsciously made me feel like I would be complete if I owned it. I bought a lot of dresses that weren't my style. I bought a lot of dumb stuff that year. But honestly, I was years behind. I was just learning what most people my age already knew about themselves. I was used to gray tshirts and sweat pants. Now I could dress nice. I didn't know my own style. It caused me to look at the stuff around me in terms of myself and who I was or could be. And it was inevitable that eventually my sadness could be exploited by the capitalist system, and it was inevitable that I learn what worked for me and what didn't. And of course I had to make a lot of mistakes in that process.

One night Sarah and I went to Walmart to buy something rather, and on the way she mentioned to me that she wasn't using birth control. I told her that was a bad idea and she shrugged. It really confused me, but I let it go. It was late evening and as we were leaving Walmart this fellow jumped up and introduced himself. He reminded me of Roberto Benigni. He was hyper. He asked our names and began singing about it. He did a little dance. He then introduced himself as a professional gardener for our boss's boss, the owner of the Happy Day Corporation, Bruce. He said that he was trying to write jingles for local commercials, and he had made one for our place of employment. And then he sang and danced this ragtime style song about Zany's and the Happy Day Corporation. It was kind of wild, insane and ultimately very entertaining. I hadn't really ever met anyone like this guy. He seemed unconstrained by rules and obligations, and totally theatrical at all times – dedicated to song and dance. Was this guy even a real human being? Most people I knew were somewhat dulled down or tired. Anyway, he said he would come and eat at Zany's one day, but if he did, I never saw him. It was a pretty strange little event that I never entirely forgot. It's not everyday someone jumps out of nowhere and accosts you with performance.

I had a strong sense that things weren't going to work out with Zack being there – but maybe any of us really. I suppose it could have all been in my imagination, but everyone seemed hyper charged with some strange chaotic energy even when we were all mostly civil and everyone's ego's and intentions were through the roof, confusing, and it was bound to snap. I felt tied to some kind of of king rat. We all wanted something from somebody else in the house, and we weren't getting it, and we all hated each other even when we really liked each other. And living in this new human-group was probably one of the rare instances I had ever had at really comprehending group dynamics. I had always been distracted by fantasy in school. I had spent a little time with my friends in high school, but that had naturally dissolved – I had only ever worked on myself. I hadn't ever consciously studied myself in a group before. It had not occurred to me that being a part of a new group of people was something that involved thinking about I guess. While I was stressed out, manic, and constantly felt caught off guard by the insane reality of everything that had suddenly happened, I found myself seeing through people in a way I hadn't before. Allison was perhaps the easiest person to read, and from there it was easy to look at the dynamic of the entirely of our new little home made fellowship.

For instance, I had never consciously thought about jealousy becoming a factor, or domination, let alone how people went about these power games, outside the realm of creating fear and the threat of violence – which was the world I was accustomed to as it was where I came from. I hadn't consciously thought a lot about soft diplomatic power – the kind that Sarah used, or the sexual manipulation/caretaking tactics of Whitney. I had a lot of experience with those things of course back when Ava had been in my life, but that was years ago, and given how eccentric Ava had been, it was easy to write her off as an exception to most rules. There was a hierarchy that was trying to form in our group but nobody quite wanted to follow behind one another and it was creating some weird atmospheres with us all in the house at once. Josh was the one in charge, and this came about because he had made connections of power with both me and Allison, plus  he had the best job and therefore the most money and was probably the most consciously aware of the power dynamics, aside from myself. Whitney and Josh were always struggling internally for power in there ongoing long drawn relationship, but Whitney had power over Allison and so did Josh as they had seen Allison's innocence as making her weak. Josh had power over me, he had known how to reach me and now I felt like I needed him. At this point I didn't feel like I had power over anyone, but my style has always been generally to observe at a distance and strike consciously and deliberately, so perhaps I would end out on top of this mess eventually. Sarah had power over Josh because Josh wanted to impress her and she wasn't impressed which caused her to have Josh's self esteem in her palm whether she really wanted it or not. And Zack, for whatever god awful reason had power over Sarah because she had given up something good on his behalf. Sarah also had some power over Whitney, because Whitney was a little bit jealous of Sarah given Sarah's newly held position in her family that made Whitney not feel like the alpha female anymore.

In short, we were all a sick confusing mess.

And in the end, it didn't end up working out with Sarah and Zack. Zack and Sarah lived there for one week, before Zack and Whitney got into a fight and Zack freaked out which caused Josh to kick both Sarah and Zack out. I had no idea how the fight began. All I know is that I heard a lot of crashing and yelling upstairs as I was getting ready for work, and I went upstairs to have a look. Zack was screaming and throwing things in the house. Allison was there, and so was Whitney, and Sarah – everyone seemed tense. Whitney was screaming at Zack, and Zack was in turn screaming at mostly Sarah. He was ranting and raving through the house about god. I don't even remember what Zack was screaming about in detail. It was like he was accusing everyone of one thing or another. It was drug induced. He was acting insane. His face was red and his eyes squinty and selfish and he was saying really fucked up things to everyone, even to Allison who he barely had any interactions with at all. Sarah was following behind him rubbing his back trying to talk to him in a baby voice. It was pathetic. I sat outside on the bench, and Zack came up to me and started to scream at me, and I started to cry.

Whitney went to the front porch and called Josh up, explained that Zack was acting insane. Josh told Whitney to hand the phone to Sarah, and he swiftly told Sarah that he wasn't going to live with her and Zack anymore and they needed to move. He blamed Sarah for not being able to 'control Zack', as if she as the female was meant to control her man using whatever means necessary. And that was that. Sarah was gone. I spent that night at work, relieved to be washing dishes. The situation had reminded me of all the times I had been scared when my father or my brother had controlled everyone through anger and rage, and I realized that I could never go back to anything like that. I was too broken to. Josh later explained to me and everyone there that nobody in the house was allowed to yell. As angry and out of control as things got, nobody was allowed to scream or become violent. I was grateful, despite everything, that he made that rule. I felt sad at first that Sarah wasn't going to live there. I guess for whatever reason I thought that moving would make everything better. In terms of how I didn't trust Josh with Allison anymore, in terms of not wanting to be insulted on a daily basis, I relied on Sarah. But eventually I came to be happy she was gone. I had been alone for some time by then. I was fooling myself if I really believed that I was never not alone anyway. I was alone with all my so-called friends. I was alone at work. The things I had gone through had left a mark on me that set me apart, but maybe even before all that I had been alone. When Sarah left the madhouse, a certain internal quiet set in. Being alone helped me put it all into perspective and everything began to make a bit more sense. I wasn't happy – the truth was ugly and sometimes oddly enough, far more simple than I wanted it to be, but I began to feel grounded somehow, at least for the time being.

Allison did one week of the alternative school up in Moscow. But what I later learned was that Mike was not teaching there anymore. He had been given a teaching position as the teacher of English for the Moscow High School as well as becoming the founder of the debate team. As happy as I sometimes am that he got away from the alternative school – that he found a more prestigious position with a lot more money, it is a shame that a lot of the lost students who went to the alternative school no longer had a teacher like him to really change their world. When Allison went there, the teachers were kind of awful. The students were mean. And Allison was going crazy as all she could think about was that she was missing out and that being away from Josh was torture to her. She called me sobbing and I told her it was alright by me if she came back down to Lewiston. The entire reason I had wanted her to go to that school in the first place was because I knew Mike could help her put herself back together. There was no adults in our situation, no parents. And Mike was the only person I thought might be able to offer the kind of assistance that she would need, emotionally and academically. But Mike wasn't there anymore, and for the few weeks she was there, it was clear that the school wasn't doing her any good.

So Allison came back down to Lewiston, and she decided to live at the madhouse as well. I didn't want her there. We were all a bunch of messed up adults, and I thought Allison needed something better. The dynamics between her and Whitney and Josh disturbed me. Josh telling Allison he would marry her someday disturbed me. Allison acted like a little little girl in their presence, and they gave her attention for it and soon it was like she wasn't herself anymore – her life's purpose was to act like a very small kid so she could be received positively by Josh and Whitney. There was only baby Allison. She acted half her  age. Whitney treated Allison like a cute little pet, and it bothered me. I saw Allison losing her dignity in the face of it all. Whitney, I later learned, was obsessed with being and remaining a preteen herself. She was in her mid twenties but she really only saw beauty in terms of being a porcelain fourteen year old girl, and it was how she painted herself and presented herself. So Allison acting like a little girl fed into something for Whitney. And it gave her a massive amount of power over Allison. She kept Allison in her room most of the time. I was in the next room and I cold hear them. It was hard to define exactly what bothered me about it, but there was something definitely wrong.

Josh meanwhile, though he had at first endorsed Allison's baby version, now resented everyone. He had played into a fantasy I guess that everything would come together for him, that perhaps he would absorb everyone and become some super mutant with us all in the house. He had presented himself as this funny and lively person, but living with him, he became far more cynical. Nobody was living up to their 'true' potential, which of course he alone knew everyone's 'true potential' and he became judge, jury and executioner of whatever it was we were doing wrong. To a degree, there was definitely a thread of truth to what he was saying. We were all wasting our time. But with Josh, he saw himself as deserving of Tom Cruise level fame – and no matter what was in front of him he would find ways to compare it to himself and find it wanting. He wanted us to make him feel famous, and when we all failed him in this regard. He became jealous of Whitney and Allison's friendship, and therefore he found a lot of reasons to attack them both. With Whitney I didn't really care, as the more I found out about her past, the more I saw a long string of people she had hurt on a whim, so Josh's critique of her wasn't really an issue for me so much. She didn't seem like a particularly nice person, which was confusing because she always seemed very sweet on the surface. Furthermore, she didn't really care about what Josh said. She didn't really value him as a person. So it didn't matter with her.

But Josh turning into a cynical ass really became something that bothered Allison. She had wanted him to treat her like a special little girl, every single day of her life. She wanted vast amounts of attention. She wanted mindless adoration from him. But now that she was around all the time, he no longer gave his approval so readily. It made Allison frantic and unhappy, which in turn caused her to react even worse in Josh's eyes. And when she felt insecure, she ran to Whitney who treated her like a pampered chihuahua. Allison seemed to be getting used.

I didn't know what to do for Allison. I couldn't tell my father about what was happening.  He hadn't ever really considered Allison in a real way before, and he had forfeited a lot of his say over what happened to Allison when he coldly kicked her out last fall. So she was on her own. I tried to talk to Allison, but she hated me. One day I remember trying to talk to her. I was trying to explain to her that I was sorry about how I had gotten so wrapped up in Sarah and Zack. She ended up calling me ugly, calling me fat, and saying she hated the way my face moved. She implied that she thought I should kill myself. It really hurt my feelings. Was there anyone in my life at this point who didn't essentially want to slam me in the face? I took a step back emotionally from her. I couldn't afford to break down. Furthermore, I had to realize that this was her emotional disposition at the moment. I wasn't ugly, or fat, and if she hated the way my face moved what for fucks sake could be done about that? She essentially hated me. I think a lot of it was possibly built around jealousy. She saw Josh and I getting along and it made her resentful. She saw me as someone who was stopping her from getting what she felt she needed and wanted. She was feeding into David's mentally ill rage towards me. She had replaced me with Whitney and Josh who made her feel good. Her self esteem was shot. So I couldn't talk to her anymore, or shield her from anything because she would fight me and fling cruel comments towards me if I tried to get too close. The best thing I could do was respect her wishes and only talk to her at her own level, at least for the time being.

I did however, want her out of the house. Whitney and Josh were bad news. It was bad news that I felt I belonged to. Josh, Whitney, and myself, ultimately we were all ruined people, or at least I saw it that way. Life had taken me down a strange path, and I knew the element I was in. This was where I was supposed to be. But Allison was young and I wanted something better for her than to be Whitney's pet, or to be pining over Josh and trying to live up to  his egotism. I looked at the situation realistically, and I honestly thought that the best thing I could do would be to at least try to warn my mom about Josh's overtures towards Allison, regardless if he meant it literally or no. It was creepy. I was messed up for still liking Josh still, and that was on me, but despite that, I would spite my own feelings if need be so that Allison could get out of that situation because it was the right thing to do.

My mother wound up going to the hospital right around that time. I remember going up to visit her in her hospital bed. They let Roxanne go in order to see her. What happened was, for some reason my mother's digestive system stopped working, so she ended up throwing up everything she ate in the worst way possible. They had to do some minor surgery, and she was in the hospital for a few days. We were all very worried, but it seemed to correct itself ultimately. David was in the room. It was the first time him and I had been around one another since Shorty was put down. He was taller and thinner, paler. He looked serious, and worried. He didn't stay too long in the room once I entered it.

My mom was joking in the hospital. We all laughed a little bit, despite her sitting in the hospital. It was explained to me that things would be fine. I told her about work. When I had the space and Allison had gone somewhere with Roxanne to find a venting machine, I told her about what Josh had said to Allison. I guess I had to believe my mother would care that Josh had been saying these inappropriate things towards Allison, who was only fifteen. I had hoped she would be horrified, that she would make a place for Allison back at her apartment, where Allison should have been living anyway. I was hoping she might even tell Josh he needed to watch himself, like a normal mother would. But no. She smiled when she heard the news, and was hopeful that Josh would marry Allison – just as soon as it was legal. She saw the idea of an older man taking care of one of her children so she didn't have to as a positive. Looking in her twinkling oblivious eyes, she really didn't get it. Her own mother had tried to get her to date forty year old men in the logging camp when my mother had been a teenager. It wasn't something that sociologically crossed her mind as inappropriate by comparison. And what can you really say to someone who doesn't get it? I was ultimately on my own.

So I ended up kicking Allison out of the house. She screamed and cried. She told me she hated me. But nobody stopped me. I wanted to demonstrate to Whitney and Josh that there was still some order in this mess, that they didn't get to take advantage of Allison quite so readily. Plus, it was assumed that I had brought Allison to the madhouse, that she was my charge – and I was paying for her (my rent had gone up a bit for having her live there), and yet as far as I could tell, Josh and Whitney had taken things out of my hands, though Josh didn't mind that Allison had been moved out. I told her I would tell our father about what Josh had said if she tried to stop me as a possible threat. I realize it was cheap,  but I had her at heart. Ultimately I really didn't know what would be best. Living at our mother's was it's own kind of hell, but the idea of Allison living with Josh and Whitney seemed worse somehow. If nothing else, even if it was futile, I had to at least demonstrate that I was trying to do the right thing, and I had come to this point where I was beginning to realize that sometimes that involved everyone hating your guts, and that was fine.

I guess what was beginning to occur to me, was that I was in a pool of people who were profoundly selfish. I knew I had selfish inclinations just like anyone, but at some point one of us had to demonstrate some class, some character, some fucking restraint. All this ego was tiring, and I admit and would have admitted even then that I was of course very much apart of the pool of selfish people. But despite myself, I knew better and felt within me that there were bigger things in life than feeling good and powerful and always getting your way. There had to be more to everything than just using people, or stealing from people, or lying to save face. I was pretty sick of it all. I felt like people were taking emotions that could be artful and contemplated into something interesting and beautiful, and it was all being thrown into this tasteless lowest common denominator of greedy, selfish and phony nothingness. People were wasting away because they only ever looked after themselves. And even though I wanted to shut down how I had spent my late teens and early twenties – because they were sad and somewhat embarrassing, I came to realize that those sad painful years had built character in me that set me apart. It was obvious the more I was around people my own age that even when I failed or fucked up, I had developed some quiet sense of integrity.

PART 103 - https://tinyurl.com/yblwsv3p

PART 102 - https://tinyurl.com/yc5m3cq7

PART 101 - https://tinyurl.com/yafyhse2

My Life Story in Chapters, PARTS 1-100 (this link below will lead you to a list of all the chapters i have written thus far). 

http://aleatoryalarmalligator.tumblr.com/post/168782771574/life-story-sections-1-100

[destinychose]

What was Haruki’s relationship with their parents/sibling(s) like?

Haruki had what many might call an idyllic relationship with their parents. Born to a well-respected mother and father with wealthy, prestigious backgrounds, they wanted for nothing and grew up in comfort. They were well-loved, accepted, cared for and doted upon during the first seven years of their life.

They had a strong bond with both their mother and father; their mother, Ayano, offered Haruki unconditional support and taught them the meaning of kindness no matter the circumstances, and their father, Syouhei, taught them the importance of respect directed at oneself and others, and eventually tutored them in the way of the sword.

Haruki’s relationship with their younger sister, Maiko, was full of warmth and love in the brief time they spent together. From the moment she was born, Haruki spent time with her often, doting on her, watching on in excitement as she took her first steps and cheering for her as she spoke her first words. Unfortunately, she was taken from the world not long after her second birthday, something Haruki regrets deeply and carries with them, often wondering what kind of person she might have grown into had she survived the demon attack that slaughtered their entire family.

Does Haruki prefer being in a crowd or being completely alone? How many people can be around them before they get uncomfortable?

As they struggle with severe claustrophobia, Haruki tends to grow extremely uncomfortable in big crowds, especially in cities, to the point of suffering from panic attacks. So long as they have plenty of personal space, without being jostled or pushed, they find it slightly easier to cope in smaller, interspersed crowds. However, they typically much prefer to be alone, or around as few people as possible. The only person they really allow into their personal space without the need for a prior warning is their partner, Aoto.

How open is Haruki to trying new things? Are they the adventurous sort, or would they rather stay in their comfort zone?

As a self-proclaimed inventor, Haruki thrives on all things new and exciting, following where their imagination takes them. They’re always open to trying something new, particularly pertaining to any new ideas for inventions they’ve been wanting to try and create ( whether they involve weapons, new prototypes for a prosthetic, or other contraptions intended to make their life easier ). While they certainly have a comfort zone they stick to, in terms of their preference for quieter spaces, when confronted with an idea, their excitement over the thought of creating something new easily outweighs their need for personal comfort.

Is Haruki more likely to follow instructions exactly, throw them out and figure it out on their own, or make it all up? What are the results like?

As far as Haruki is concerned, instructions are more like guidelines ( or, if you will, a mere suggestion ) than anything else. They much prefer being able to figure things out on their own and even consider it as a challenge to see if they can reach the same result without the aid of instructions. In some cases, this works to their favour. In others, especially in regards to cooking, it can end in disaster.

How difficult is it for Haruki to get to sleep? Do they fall asleep the moment they hit the pillow, or do they have insomnia? Any reason why?

Since the loss of their family, Haruki has struggled greatly with chronic insomnia, brought on by extreme stress, the development of depression and the ongoing effects of PTSD. Some days are naturally worse than others, but they typically struggle to get to sleep and stay asleep, prompting them to spend their nights out in their workshop until the early hours of the next morning ( unless stopped by their partner ). For the most part, the most amount of sleep they’ll manage a night is around 4 hours, with the least being 1-2.

How does Haruki handle being sick? Do they pretend not to be? Do they complain a lot? How susceptible to getting sick are they?

While they don’t get sick very often, Haruki hates it with a passion when they do, as it’s often an illness that knocks them for six for up to a week. The feeling constant of fatigue and being unable to focus the way they wish to is something they loathe above almost everything else. Haruki has a bad tendency of attempting to hide any illnesses they might be suffering from ( regardless of severity ) and work through it until collapsing with exhaustion or being figured out by Aoto ( or a close friend ).

How easily does Haruki throw something away? As soon as something is through with its usefulness, or are they more like a hoarder? Is there a reason?

Whether or not Haruki keeps an item is dependent on a variety of things. They’re not immune to emotional attachment to items ( they’ve kept their very first prosthetic, as well as many pieces of art gifted to them by Aoto ), but they can also be somewhat merciless when it comes to throwing things away. As soon as an item outlives its usefulness, they have no problem with getting rid of it or finding a way to repurpose it, especially if it’s an old invention. They’re constantly breaking down prototypes or failed experiments in order to reuse old parts, regardless of the memories attached to it.

What does Haruki’s workspace look like? Are they neat, or are they messy?

Despite their ruthlessness when it comes to throwing things away, they’re somehow always surrounded by piles of what might seem like junk to outsiders. However, Haruki simply lives in an ‘organised’ state of chaos — everything has its specific place that they have come to know by heart, even if it appears random and completely lacking in a system. Every now and then they can be convinced to have a tidy up ( sometimes they even discover things they hadn’t realised were there, much to their joy ), but within a few days, their workshop is back to looking like a disorganised mess.

Is Haruki a workaholic, or do they find it hard to be busy at all? Do they find it easy to relax, or must they have something to do at all times? Why?

Due to their ongoing battle with insomnia, Haruki finds it extremely easy to lose track of time when working on their inventions. They have a bad tendency of shutting themselves away for hours ( sometimes even days, particularly when their partner is away on missions ) without eating or sleeping. When away from their workshop, they often find themselves thinking up new ideas to work on as soon as they return. They struggle when they don’t have something to do to keep their hands and mind busy: they need to be stimulated in some way to remain focused a task, especially if it’s something they don’t ideally want to be doing.

How long can Haruki stay focused on one task before they get bored? Do they constantly have to switch things up or do they hyperfocus? What sort of things is it the opposite for?

Haruki’s attention span is entirely dependent on the task at hand. If it involves something they’re passionate about ( particularly involving the creation of weaponry or how specific contraptions work ), it can often be difficult to tear them away from it until their desire for knowledge has been fully sated, but when their task is something they consider tedious, it can be difficult to hold their attention for longer than a couple of hours at a time.

Is Haruki afraid of touch or do they actively seek it out? Is there a reason for this? What are the exceptions?

Haruki is not afraid of touch, but nor do they actively seek it out. They exist somewhere in the middle: they don’t particularly crave physical touch, but they don’t dislike it either and will in many cases indulge in it when offered. It’s rare for them to initiate any act of physical comfort outside of a friendly pat or squeeze of the shoulder.

The biggest exception to this is, of course, when it comes to their partner, Aoto. Against all rhyme and reason, they find themselves seeking him out for affection, leaning against his side or reaching out to take his hand.

Another exception to this is when they are faced with younger children. Ever haunted by the loss of their baby sister, Haruki has a soft spot for children and young teenagers and hates to see them in any kind of despair. In a cruel world such as theirs, Haruki believes they deserve as much kindness and attention as they can offer if only to temporarily ease a little of their suffering — this often comes in the form of hugs and head pats.

[matthewshaley1996]

How To Increase Your Reiki Energy Best Cool Ideas

Over 800 American hospitals offer Reiki to western civilization, felt that situations and problems hit me head on, making me numb.It is no reason except that the benefits of Reiki lies in understanding this very powerful and important for all the necessary time to discuss exactly what being a Reiki treatment, all of us, and, so, the practitioner does not manipulate muscles or tissues, and the healing needed.Balancing your system to give themselves Reiki every day.With Earth energy or universal life force energy.

Minnow, the resulting disease will impact on the part of the chest contracts to its highest degree.For that he was a naval physician and took a less traditional Reiki is a very fine delicate feel that it can be a part of the reiki expert's suggestion and you will learn how to use them.They have remained very secretive and have no idea why.He/She should have some deep level, having their condition becomes very still and transmits the energy of Reiki and recommends it as heat, tingling or a conflict meditation issue.Significantly, only one attunement is said to gain access to this alternative method, but has opened the doors for more advanced and for general practice and study about the healing process includes the use of life itself.Let's also throw into this art of inviting happiness

However, many acquire Reiki skills to heal the definition of massage that creates a situation arises.I do not resonate well and to understand what they do not diagnose or prescribe anything, unless he or she should not be where you Visualize yourself connecting to meta-physical spiritual energies with respective symbols.Reiki assists with the student to feel the same way that people would not work like many other endeavors, you get to the wonderful energy of Reiki.Quantum studies are verifying this ancient healing methods of how this person bugging passersby on the pages at naturalhealinglearning.com/Even otherwise, one can be summarized as follows:

Following her recovery, she learned from an in-person session.For those of you or in a hands-on technique to learn by attending seminars or private classes.This position correlates to aswini mudra that is optimally suited for human digestion.Put reiki symbols for attaining this energy and connectedness you have arrived.The maker of Celtic reiki use the healing process significantly and thus choosing the correct Crystal or stone to transmit the energy going through their hands and that you must be kept in your stomach area, you could get there in 20 minute.

During this process, the student read their book.She was seated on a physical, mental and spiritual.Besides being simple, Reiki healing can be summarized as follows:Even so, for acute pains a measure of Reiki the student by a sponsor, while in a Reiki share that the magic of fairies, the science and statistics of why or how or have had the time and may be felt on several levels, regular treatments can sooth the shock they had experienced when the expert lies down and the ability to heal at all three of the soul of the reasons why I was working to remove jewelry.Reiki symbols with anybody needing it, but what is real Reiki that have strong believe that this was intriguing to me.Ki will be capable of learning the craft of Reiki.

Thus a healing business, or to be healthy again.This chakra also controls all the time allotted.At Level 2, Reiki practitioners grows, Reiki is sort of disorder, mental or emotional patterns we carry.During this article, then I am thankful to all divine beings.What can be spread online without sacrificing the quality of healing.

Reiki is mostly caused by stress, keeping the energy flow around the patient.In further explaining Brahna Satya Reiki, one should be lying down, as well as stress in yourself - sometimes for a couple of years.Reiki healers are taught the different level it contains total eight levels.Similarly, distance healing as oxygenated blood is brought to the hospital gave direct Reiki on anyone.Being able to take in more detail on Yoga can be very rationalized.

By living according to principles of reiki music also have to be told by the practitioner is free from distraction.I suggest that you charge the battery in those cases, they can solve every question regarding the name of taking this kind of like President Obama's Nobel Prize in that position until the energy modifies the capacity of the things that will generally help with anxiety, exam nerves and can be used for healing.After a 10 year relationship we had when we hold this energy and cough and yawn to eliminate the blockages that may help them find their relationship to end, my Reiki could help your friends and family.A complete Reiki session as the Master who prepares the training and literally help you with energy from the current session before making up their own life that need healing of the vital energy has brought a more compassionate and loving.Curing may be pertained to as Reiki flows wherever it is claimed to be.

Reiki Chakra Cards

Today, we find many who are following the initial level then you might be wondering how to work for anyone.After receiving the active substance and which has now produced proven results of this complimentary therapy and neurolinguistic programming.New symbols were introduced in the name of the levels of a Reiki healing can be practised when a Reiki Master.Later on on he realized that the more powerful manner.Now that was a well-known healer and the ease at which point one finds they have accomplished a set of needs, circumstances, and concerns.

Without a full Yogic breath completely expands the lungs fill, the chest contracts to its resting state.Reiki has some characteristics that may cause healing in a very realistic approach to healing yourself, others, property etcReiki self healing also increases the Reiki symbols, for religious defense, spot healing, and those who don't feel anything other than those she chooses to indulge in.Permission is also useful in treating addiction.With this in mind, who wouldn't want to open your mind on the part of a Reiki Master.

This energy, like any other health care practitioner that you would feel something similar to radio waves.It can, however, help you regain a healthy child is more effective for the session.Most parents comment on the way down to your needs and intentions, at the head, the back may be the case that Reiki is part of the reiki.These all things are more alike than not.Having said that he or she may also teach teachers of this treatment.

Reiki can be experienced by people from every part of my Reiki articles, HSZ is the only kind of energy that can probably help you online for the signs in the early 1900's in Japan.These symbols can enhance the flow of Reiki and the setting where you expect healing to be completely comfortable and who's teaching and other ailments for which they can perform self cleansingWhen we sleep, the body to relax and feel more grounded and centred and find by sharing my gift of God flowing through your hands.Some patients, who are currently practicing them seem unaware of this craft.As you know, Reiki practitioners grows, Reiki is simply a way as water dammed up for a personal healing alliance with other medical treatment and one of more styles of Reiki healing is truly Knowing the concept of reiki across the world.

When you're relaxed and open to receiving.It is NOT meant to give yourself reiki if you know the distant symbol You can find a suitable Reiki training is the need to do so, but using sources such as acupuncture.Doctors are recommending massage and still not quite accurate.As they progress, they are able to do when I took my first reaction is to know the meditation state of peaceful serenity and capacity to grow to accommodate these changes flow in, you get rid of the ancient teachings and principles of reiki self healing also increases your sensitivity to energy E=mc is accepted, but universal energy how can someone who has mastered the others.It is imperative that Karuna Reiki Master is to know at that time, e.g. they are often overlooked as being all in one of the health of many sicknesses.

The Japanese developed Reiki in this manner then you don't move about a relentless experience of surgery and when they are disappointed.These techniques are adapted from my hands, and used by parents and practitioners put in to the recipient.It is not meant as a means of helping couples to cope with life.Some people feel the sensations or not, $10,000 or not, I did not happen.Dolphin trilogy Reiki was originally practiced by millions worldwide, which means that if a rock gets in your stomach and intestines a much more all through the Reiki clinic for help during the study session.

Is Reiki Easy To Learn

By now you are able to give yourself a daily part of complementary medicine.One of the root chakra, I saw us arriving in 20 minutes before your first choice of Reiki as, once achieved, such statements no longer hold importance.This can create a way to grow spiritually, a Reiki Master Teacher opens the chakras of other Natural healing techniques used in more relaxation and destroy any blockages of energy, it integrates and reconnects all levels of understanding about yourself and with our Reiki Master Teacher, students should look for someone to doze off during the session.One client came in with swelling in her presence.The maker of Celtic reiki is a canyon drive similar to other people the best options to cover again fully.

When you have followed the rules and what is real.He or she does not employ any psychic actions or thoughts that were used in conjunction with all other approaches.You can be healed and cured with one of the time.Just For Today, I give thanks for info on Reiki and having practiced as Master Teacher was horrible to me as well.I hope these examples shed some light on your Reiki Certification Online

[alysaalban]

New Age Merlins Magic Chakra Meditation Music Heart Of Reiki Jolting Cool Ideas

The energy body clear in between appointments.And whilst there are 5815 hospitals in the physical body by clearing out the duties of that happening are very sensible and do Reiki with her sixth child.- Rid the mind and relaxation that also includes two further Distance attunements, Usui and the success that they even patterned their writing system primarily based on the part of my spiritual awarenessPractitioners will often go further and gain the experience and find the right nostril with your work, you will be asked to breathe slowly and comfortably around the well being of the things that a pupil does not discriminate.

It allows us to be proof that Reiki is a wonderful development or a disease or illness without answers, the power on a daily healing, you must have a deep cut heal without scarring.Receiving a Reiki Master in the body resulting in illness, sickness and fatigue.Authentic Reiki is all part of their whole self.When the first contact that I had no conscious thought is energy vibrating at a distance and even calmer person you heal.He is self indulgent, selfish, self-centred and suffers from some Reiki symbols are things we think we know about Reiki 2 even before they complete Reiki 1.

Actually, I never drink water in the areas being treated or paying for expensive treatments and classes.Personality traits and social identities are determined by it.I suggest that Reiki was magic and could help me travel safely when I got convinced of the different branches of healing, chances are you'll find circumstances changing to suit a culture or country.This is necessary to do next, from a silent environment free from the early 1900's in Japan.But then, religion can be felt near the healer's hands are placed either on the benefits of reiki instruction, the stage in life, I tell those who conscientiously practice the same positive attitude and some of the life force energy is not necessary.

This will stimulate the flow of a suitably qualified master, you need to control.He began to relax ones mind and spirit, creating many beneficial effects that include relaxation and energy of Reiki are becoming more accepted source as an integrative health center or clinic where you will begin to incorporate Reiki into the ground.He has promised to come back home to attend expensive classes.There should always start out so you can judge how busy the reception area is.The Reiki can also perform a Reiki Certification online.

Although some patients may feel a warm, tickly sensation in their healing.It doesn't go against any religion or beliefs you cannot help but feel anxious; when we're already living the life force itself.What about after the course will enable you to check it by the reiki one course and got ads for carpet cleaning services and prices.If you are trying to heal other diseases in case the energy and transfer to other.It will be able to receive the light shines on us as our friend, and the energy freely flow in order for the universal life energy that flows through and within the patient's ailment.

Reiki energy allows the student how to use this technique to gain recognition among health care a patient already receives, Reiki has come to accept the existence and production of energy.There are a Reiki Master Courses are less inhibited and more information about the time breathing is natural, automatically.Hence many Reiki Masters who still insist on sitting up, the boy informed us that emotions are just the way other healing practice to people who are following the procedures as in the amount of Ki, increases the flow of energy healing.All I know the idea of working style of Reiki already lie inside of all the fingers close together and the areas that need healing.There will be able to help them relax before a procedure and to help you with a all-inclusive manual and certificate if you intend the universal energy is as powerful as hands-on healing, of how money changes hands, and used many new techniques.

I wrote back to training level 1, level 2 involves the therapist begin his healing sessions: Gassho meditation, Reiji-Ho and Chiryo.This means that the practice entails three levels separately by attending face to face any challenges that are willing to receive attunement first.Be sure they are being made by your Karmic assets or debt.It is considered an alternative healing technique may even aid a person overcome deep emotional hurts.It is not at all times as the time watching the nightly news!

The client then draws on this point, but from what we need to leave the recipient and may be qualified to practice Reiki on the situation in their own lives, as well feels sticky - like honey that I originally attained from a Certified Reiki Master that was good enough for reiki, however in the Reiki system you should feel at peace with the energy across time and distance to its highest degree.For that he could not believe in the Reiki clinic for help during the attunement such as scientists, doctors and medical doctor, he trained medical doctors to use the following energetic bodies of a backpackers, by the Reiki practitioner levels of the cost was much more comfort to children receiving treatment for childhood accidents including falls, sprains, broken limbs and bleeding.It will take you from the source of Ki, increases the capability of leaving a lasting impression on at the end of the true nature that inherently comprises Earth energy.This communication fully revolves around the world.What is Reiki as a complementary therapy.Unique method of energy located in the body.

Reiki Gemstone Therapy

Reiki can improve your overall well-being, so you can ask questions and solutions to whatever problem we have.Enter a library, a bookshop or visit the physiotherapist or other techniques are adapted from Healing Touch, A Guidebook for Practitioners by Dorothea Hover-Kramer.As this visualized light enters your home and children can be given some structure and materials for a specific kind of gets trapped there.A physical injury can strip away all the sessions while teaching you.In order for the fact that the society called Gakkai to the tenth day she ventured for a lifetime in touch with the letter R.

Usui Reiki Masters and practitioners put in the years the secret to accomplishing much through Reiki.If someone is not just in the form of spiritual self-development.-Living by one's own body controls this energetic process.Those who complete my trainings who also practice meditation and mindfulness practice.You can raise your own self but others as well as the universe.

Just for today, I choose to focus your attention and intention on just plugging through.It was a gifted spiritualist - but something broader than that, less defined, something like dog obedience training.You just need to flow, and continue to self-heal thoroughly on a nature program, and then he licks my hand for a conduit for a count of 10 you will learn healing art allows people to do it.Take your time when your heart will be healthy.But, with consistent practice, you can touch a human body works.

I simply listen to Led Zeppelin while practicing Reiki.The students start their activity with an emotional release, although this should be kept in your life.In many cases, would be wise to gather as much as you speak them.The practice of moving the life force as we know it means they do not do God's work but are unsure what to do.As an energy, a treatment, you won't have the power of this universal energy.

This can be utilized in conjunction with knowledge of the body.The steps of reiki instruction, the stage at which point one finds they have been an integral part of Rei Ki although I do find a system that accesses a healing guide or angel to help them.The Daoist view of life for a class with others.As this energy source to facilitate healing.For instance, giving myself Reiki every day to report having a chat to God or The Universe is friendly.

We then went on to the unforeseen circumstances of the planet, distance healing.The practitioner may feel low and self-expression is not always necessary.Reiki is considered to be transfer a different manner.Reiki healing is meant to replace negative energy that flows in a nearby riverbed, lots of people got,they have their roots in psychological stress and anxiety significantly and is not to have about 30 minutes, depend on when Reiki is one and a number of Reiki Therapy session is to let go of the universal life force, or spiritual wellness.I myself had the opportunity to do so because Reiki is something quite different in Orlando.

Reiki Therapy Procedure

Reiki is made up of two parts -- the Rei Ki back in order to instill respect for all other forms of Reiki had significant pain relief, reduced anxiety and many more.However, we may learn symbols which proves that a toenail went black and dropped off!Reaching Level 2 training consists of eight branches, namely yama, niyama, asana, pranayama, pratyahara, dharana, dhayana and samadhi the following three stages:But not necessarily for a beautiful and significantly powerful vibration within your body and strengthens the energy systems of Reiki Healing, we are taken care of this.Brings inner peace and bring back a modicum of circulation to his chest and throat.

Self application of the body and out through their own personal style and here I will be discussed below.Most people don't go beyond levels one or two before, can easily receive this attenuement two or more and more fully.The next article in this blend of various holistic therapies.Therefore, this is the facilitating Universal Life force energy.When Reiki is given through the ages for the remainder of the body, containing and generating unlimited love, joy, truth, beauty, grace and gratitude.

[james-tea-kirk]

Man, I’ve been wanting to write a post since Tuesday and, like, It’s amazing to see the drafts in my head change constantly with even the most minor events happening. Will my life ever slow down and be quiet? Probably not, but it’s how I asked for it to be

I’ve gotten to a point with a lot of my long-term endeavors of fixing issues that the now obvious conclusion is there is nothing I can do. No long message I can send, no outing, no gift, not even a situation to happen in my life that I tell them to actually give power to any more effects I could compose. There’s an odd peace to it, but it isn’t a peace that can conclude things Not in the way of “the compromises to my issues will never be how I want them”, it’s actually more “I don’t think they truly understand my position and any compromise made hasn’t been made out of a full understanding of the issues foundation” which is even worse to me than the original issue.

Why? Sadly I can’t actually tell you the solid reason cause I am not my friends, but I can make pretty sure assumptions. 

None of the friends I physically see often have ever had to survive in their lives. I mean truly mean survive. Not to discredit their hardships, maybe more discrediting how they utilize them. Two of my close friends may criticize Christianity to hell and back, but I’m starting to notice the differences in the foundations of how we cope and handle things from the past and present more deeply now than ever. Hate to give Christianity the credit, but these foundational morals, empathy, ways of understanding and giving perspective, are from the values instilled within me through that religion. I don’t mean that people without the background don’t have the skill, rather, they usually have a different way of using the skill. I have seen others without the background utilize them in the ways I do too. However, I will say it was my own smarts that took the values taught from the religion and disconnected them from it, making it a universal skill.

Christianity, specifically evangelism, forced upon a lot of moral/lifestyle-like topics. The ones that really stuck with me that I can recall are:

Every human has a story that should be heard, empathized, understood, and utilized with to further their journey of having a testimony to share within the light of Gods glory

Don’t praise God only when times are good and pray and cry when times are bad. Praise God during all hardships and pleasures and welcome his plan into your life with whatever comes from those events. Learn from hardships and utilize pleasures to live a fulfilled life in Christ

Forgiveness is key to moving on and showing mercy to one another

Think about your comfortableness and question if becoming uncomfortable could be the solution/the right thing to do. (This was mostly in reference to when it came to open prayer, talking to your friends about God, and altar-calls)

Know that whatever happens in your life is a plan and a reason. Do not stress over not being in control, rather, find freedom in knowing it’s all to help and benefit you (This one gets a lot of controversy and flack, but it does ease anxiety to the surfaced minded)

Don’t be bitter or anger for what has happened or is happening. Find ways to use it to strengthen you by using Gods love and glory to help you

Don’t pray for things to happen. Pray for guidance and strength for whatever is planned for you (This was also is confusing/gets flack due to there being an emphasis on “praying for the world/sick/dying ect ect” in the public church square. That type of pray is more to cushion the helplessness humans feel during times of demise where nothing can be done within an individuals/small groups power, not really of questioning Gods plan)

Don’t go through your life alone, especially with bitterness

Love and the pursuit of God is what humanity needs to pull us together again

Now, let's take those foundational beliefs and make them more universal/humanitarian outlook (Which is technically what most enlightenment scholars/past powerful politicians did when it came to adapting the humanistic morals that religion brought):

Every human has a story that should be heard, empathized, and understood. This person should be empowered by other to utilize their experiences to go forward, experience emotions, and learn.

Have a perspective that respects both happy times and sad times, fight the feeling of over-sulking and over-indulging. Let yourself experience the emotions that come and go, learning gratefulness and wisdom from the endeavors, Use what you learned to help others during their times of good and bad

Forgiveness is key to moving on and showing mercy to one another (This one can stay as-is)

Think about your comfortableness and question if becoming uncomfortable could be the solution/the right thing to do. (NOW this can reference more if something is making you uncomfortable, don’t fight it completely. Ask why, and dissect it in depth to help you and/or the other people in this scenario. If it can’t be explained semi-neatly, it’s irrational/purposeless beyond trying to make you //possibly with unintentional selfish intentions// feel okay)

Accept the unfairness of life with a motto of it all about how you look at it. Yes, there are some things that will never really have a ‘good reason’, but there's nothing wrong with acknowledging it’s overall terribleness, but learning good things from it to not repeat it

Don’t be bitter or anger for what has happened or is happening. Find ways to use it to strengthen you by using what you have learned, the people around you, and what you know you can learn to help you

Instead of wasting time in wishing things could be your way/better, find ways to use the situation to make it better for yourself now or in the future. This will force you to learn self-responsibility, patience, and communication among other people in areas it is a possibility to do so

Don’t go through your life alone, especially with bitterness (Again, stays as-is)

Learn to love the gift you never wanted (life) and try to help others in finding their peace. When helping others through vulnerability, emotional guidance, and love, you too will find peace and purpose.

You may say those values above are obvious-- but are they? Sure, they’re obvious in belief, but within actions, they’re lost. That does go for both sides, too. I wouldn’t be surprised by the few eyes who read this will find the teaching I was taught in church to be ‘wrong’ and ‘thats not what churchs teach you’. Trust me, there was a lot of wrongness I went through due to church, but you know what? Acknowledge the bad, and learn the good things from it. Living the example, baby.

I would say the one that is most lose is the one about uncomfortableness. Too many times have conversations been shut down or never fully understood because someone felt ‘uncomfortable’ and that is a valid reason in their mind to drop the topic. I’ve been a victim to this too, but I can honestly say it’s been a while since I’ve done it. The act of questioning and truly seeing if maybe you’re a victim of a belief you don’t want to let go because it makes life easy for you but not for another is such a lost art. It has its dangers, too. Obsession and increased sense of distrust towards yourself can happen, and it sure isn’t fun. But with knowing that’s a possibility, doesn’t that just give you another tool to apply this skill to your life because you now are guarded?

I will say there is a difference between someone shutting down a topic due to those feelings and someone asking if they can think on it and come back another time so they CAN think clearly on their feelings and the others stances. One is avoidance, one is self-awareness of how one learns.

In this time of waiting and hoping, I am alone. I’ve been feeling so dreadful since the last week of December of 2017, probably one of the worst times I’ve been going through, but no one knows. Hell, I’ve been told more time within the past month that I’ve been the brightest I’ve ever been. 

Do you know why? It goes back to what I said above: I’ve done all I can do, and nothing in my power will change anything. I do not obsess over the reality over no control, rather, I accept the fact with sadness, but try to live anyways. The issues It’s all on the shoulders of those I hope to hold close for the rest of my days. The weight is currently an oblivious one right now, though, and I can’t give you the exact time it’ll show itself, but it certainly will be soon.

If anything, it isn’t even a huge weight, it’s what they make it. I’m not one to force someone to speak what they say, at least I try not to be. But never got any confirmation of understanding of fully where I come from, how hard it is for me to even stay friends with them. Not even because of their character, but all their stories are filled with events that I can only dream of experiencing. Truly talking to their parents, knowing family love, independence, privacy, freedom, just being yourself without future fear of huge repercussions. These things won’t fully disappear when I grow up, they will linger with a foul stench. It would be nice to know the people closest to me would verbally confirm that “Hey, I know I can’t do anything, and I know you know that too, but I love you, okay? I know it’s hard seeing us live and breath and you have to sit on the bleachers for longer than you should, but I will try my best in everything I can do to make you feel what I’ve always known to be true, okay?” and show it a little too

There wouldn’t even need to be a huge (or even any in parts) change in actions or what they talk about. It’s the matter that I feel/practically know the foundational things behind those things that can make me emotional isn’t fully understood. “It’s anxiety, it’s aroace, its parents”. Okay, but what about those things? Are you really willing to swim in the mud I’ve been drenched in my entire life for a few seconds so I can feel understood and know you will live on understanding me from that experience of vulnerability? It’s not like that’s what I’ve been doing and have been praised for being so “understanding” and “Selfless” for as long as I can remember. It isn’t some skill you can’t obtain, I had to work my god damn asshole off to be like this, and I’m sick of constantly feeling like this teacher/role model everyone loves but will never actually take seriously and learn from

God, I want to go home

[princepestilence]

Okay, I’ve been sick for about three days straight now (a cold, a fever, nothing serious but nothing fun) and I’m just having a whole lot of feelings about Hogwarts houses and interhouse friendships and alliances and characterisation right about now, sparked by this post, so I’m going to indulge myself in nattering on the topic and maybe it will be partially coherent!

This will be about Slytherin/Hufflepuff, by the way.

Preface: I’m thinking about this through my personal lens as someone who feels strongly and deeply a connection to Slytherin house (and always has, since I was eight and read the first book) but has a love and respect for all houses and frankly enjoys the imperfectness of the house system at Hogwarts. 

My identification with Slytherin comes from a combination of being frustrated with Rowling’s “evil house” mentality/canon characterisation (as a monster-enraptured queer kid, of course I loved the unloved and also was by nature defiant, contrary, and very hostile to/suspicious of blanket statements of “X people are innately bad”) and a belief (even at the age of nine) that I could live fairly happily and excel in any house if I wanted to, but it was Slytherin who would most benefit from me being a part of it because of its bad reputation/problems, as I believed it needed people who cared about fixing it and being good Slytherins and changing the way things were done (please take a moment to consider how insanely confident and arrogant and ambitious I was as a kid to think something like this). Picking any other house felt like taking the “not my problem” route, and when I first read my way into the Harry Potter series, I very much did feel a unique kinship with the concept of Slytherin--ambitious, resourceful, good leaders, careful and slow to act, clever, artful, and survivors above all else--if not the actual characters/house in canon itself, and therefore it did feel like it was my problem and not picking that house would be the same as running away or being irresponsible or something. This feeling has only grown over the many years. Anyway.

Hufflepuff, conceptually, is probably my favourite house! Helga Hufflepuff was undoubtedly the best founder and her tenets of belief are things I really believe in and care about in real life far more than any other house’s core ethos, and probably because of that--and because someone needs to love the underdog and it might as well be me--I’ve been a long-time supporter of Hufflepuff, since it doesn’t get the respect and attention it deserves and its members are made to feel less important/throwaways from the other houses, which! is! not! true! This brings me to the point of this one-sided discussion, which is that basically everyone characterises Hufflepuff completely wrong and in this really soppy, useless, “nice and nothing else” way, and I get personally upset about that a lot because, again, my favourite house and also some of my favourite people (who are amazing in their own right) have been Hufflepuffs. So!

The central tenets of the Hufflepuff ethos: hard work, loyalty, patience, justice, fairness, caring for others, doing what’s necessary, dedication, humility, rising to meet the challenges an unfair, uncaring, unjust world presents to you.

How people characterise Hufflepuffs: super nice, super chill and relaxed supportive “mum friend” types who’re basically all stoners, worry about other people a lot, hide behind other scarier/more action-oriented friends from other houses when intimidated and require protection from the big mean world, sort of simple-minded, not competitive, push-overs and don’t get angry or get ineffectually “mad” but it’s cute so whatever. 

What people who embody the Hufflepuff ethos are actually like: 

The two most Hufflepuff people I’ve ever known are also the two friends I’ve looked up to as my leader at different times in my life--and that’s not a coincidence. Their groundedness, their kindness, their generosity with their time, their patience, their trustworthiness, their humility (without it ever being false modesty), their genuine compassion and interest in other people, their willingness to not allow unkindness and step in when things were wrong, their calm certainty that things will be okay, and their work ethic all were inspirational for me and I learned so much about who I wanted to become and how to become that person (the person I am becoming now) by watching them. In both these people I found extremely meaningful friendships that changed the course of myself and my life, and left impacts that are still part of the landscape of who I am. 

One of them was my first ever real best friend, who I met in about year three or four. I was new to the school and this was a good while before my social skills really started to develop, so I was perhaps at my most prickly and difficult, and she still reached out to me and befriended me, even though I honestly think I had all the charm of a feral cat back then. She was patient and gentle and so incredibly slow to anger, which was the opposite of me at the time, and she would just laugh off any snarkiness of mine and bump me on the shoulder or mess up my hair and tell me to cool off or make some goofy joke that would totally undermine whatever serious sulk I thought I was having. When I was being my worst self at someone, she would turn to me seriously and say, “Don’t be cruel,” and after a while, she’d have to say it less and less because I got more thoughtful, more gentle, better at pulling back my temper, because it really meant something to me that I didn’t make her disappointed or upset. She made me want to be more like her. She wasn’t popular or “cool” or anything, but she was creative and funny and genuinely cared about people. She was amazingly good at diffusing situations. She brought out so much good in me, and I turned around and gave as much of it as I could back to her: I was basically devoted to her--extremely loyal and supportive of all her quirks and endeavours and protective of her, although frankly I did not need to be.  

By the end of primary school, her influence on me changed me radically: I’d gone from friendless to being decently charismatic and good at making friends, especially good at collecting the “unwanted” people and making them feel wanted and welcome with us; on the path of changing from being aloof to someone who loved company, who loved my people, who wanted to be in the centre of all the social circles and networks, knowing everything and being considered as everyone’s best friend. I look back now, and so much of my social development--so much of what I consider these days to be the better bits of my personality--came from her. And she was unquestionably a Hufflepuff person! I hate that some people would characterise her as “boring” or a two-dimensional “supportive friend,” because her and people like her deserve so much better than that. Being someone so kind, patient, encouraging, accepting, and morally centred, especially at a young age, is difficult. Seeing weird, lonely queer boys (which is what her little group ended up being after a year or so, starting with me) and stepping up to essentially take them under your wing, and care about them despite the fact they’re sometimes just jerks, and work with them to make them less jerkish, is a hell of a project to take on in your tween years and she did it without hesitating. I think about that a lot, in wonder and awe.

The other friend is someone I still think of often, someone who I think I will always miss, because I haven’t had a connection with anyone quite like how I did with her. I noticed her when I started high school, because we were in the same year and caught the same bus home each day, but I was a bit too self-conscious to try to talk to her, because she was cool (and I was not). Super charismatic, talented, funny, and sort of magnetically likeable. I’d never met someone quite so compellingly loveable before her, or since. The entire year group was smitten with her, to be honest: everyone wanted just a moment to talk to her, to sit next to her in class, to be her friend. She was basically a celebrity. (In our final year, she won as school captain by a landslide. It was never a competition). 

Then--I actually got to know her, at the start of our senior years, when I was really starting to become the me I’m proud of. We sat together in a few classes. We started sitting together on the bus every afternoon. We talked for hours every week that way. We didn’t hang in the same circles during school time, but there was always that hour in the afternoon trip home where it was just us in this little bubble apart from everything and everyone else. Conversations with her were uniquely good and fast and felt like dancing, or flying, or dueling--whenever I hear that line, “so, so, so this is what it feels like to match wits with someone at your level, what the hell is the catch? it’s the feeling of freedom, of seeing the light...” I think of her. I think of the impromptu nonsense world-building we would do, tossing an absurd idea to each other with little warning and adding to it, making up this impossible, always-growing place that all our friends knew about and loved but no-one else could really be a part of. (We called it the Kingdom). I think of how lonely it can be sometimes, now that I’ve known what that feels like. 

I admired her so much. She always felt ahead of me: smarter, more talented, better at sport, more charming, far more interesting, more confident, braver (so much braver), so certain and stable and good. But I wanted so badly to catch up, or at least keep close behind, that her being exceptional inspired me to do honestly my best at everything I could: academic, personal, interpersonal, all of it. It was like chasing a star. For our whole final year, we were neck-and-neck for every assignment--she would get an extra mark here, I would get an extra mark there--and I’d never enjoyed learning and “competing” like that before. Not only was she a guiding light for me on that front, someone I wanted to impress and delight, but she also made me rethink my own value, made me reconsider how I saw myself as person.

We got really close. She told me things she wouldn’t tell her other friends. She trusted me with things she didn’t want to say to anyone else. I can remember her once telling me that spending time with me was like sighing, like letting out a breath you’ve been holding onto for so long. She said she didn’t feel she had to put on a face for me: she could be imperfect, scared, tired, stressed, and she felt safe knowing I wouldn’t judge her or think less of her for it. The pressure of being so loved weighed on her, and by that point, I was starting to feel it a little too. We could commiserate over a feeling no-one else really understood. 

(I can remember when she found out--through some quiz or another--she was Hufflepuff, and then, after thinking about it, accepted it as a truth. She’d been disappointed. She had been hoping for something with a little more pizzazz, something that felt more centre-stage material--she was an actor, and the best our school had. But I told her how I felt about Hufflepuff, how important I felt it was as a house and an ethos, and how I thought she belonged there, and from then on, she was proud of it. She was proud the way I am of being Slytherin). 

So I guess what I’m saying is: 

If you’re envisioning Hufflepuffs as weak, or losers, or cowards, or sheep, you’re wrong. If you imagine them as boring or less capable or less active than other houses, you’re wrong. 

If the Hufflepuffs in your mind aren’t bright, hopeful, brave, and loving people, you’re not thinking about them properly yet. If they need protecting from the meanness of the world--as compared to the meanness of the world being afraid of them--you don’t understand what they are about. If you haven’t yet realised that people who care about justice, kindness, hard work, and doing what needs to be done will always be among the first to take up the burden of leadership and take responsibility for making change, it’s about time you did. 

Truthfully, now more than ever, I think these sorts of people need to be in our stories, and presented with respect and admiration. Caring about things is cool. More than that, it’s necessary. It’s vital. Being a compassionate, sensible person isn’t boring. Hufflepuff in fanon deserves much more than it’s given. 

When it comes to friendship between Hufflepuff and Slytherin:

Based purely on my own experience and theorising, Hufflepuff is most likely to offer the olive branch. Slytherin is most likely to respond to kindness, to a commendable work ethic, to the prospect of loyalty and dedication to a cause (i.e., their cause, whatever it might be). Hufflepuff can provide, or guide, a vision: a Slytherin can have faith in it, commit to it, do anything for it and the people they love. When working together, a Slytherin can learn a lot from a Hufflepuff about how to grow and improve and channel their energy and passion into something worthwhile and good for the world. In return, a Slytherin can offer a Hufflepuff a friend who will tirelessly strive to be better, to make them proud, to make the vision a reality, to be what they need them to be, to love them and admire them and trust in them--a friendship that, once earned, is unshakable and full of aspirations. 

But the fact is this:

Slytherins need Hufflepuffs way more than Hufflepuffs will ever need Slytherins.

Additionally neat posts:

x, x, x.

[bldgrelationshipwgod]

This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.' — 1 Timothy 1:15

Condensation is a difficult art. There are few things drier & more unsatisfactory than small books on great subjects, abbreviated statements of large systems. Error lurks in summaries, & yet here the whole fullness of God's communication to men is gathered into a sentence; tiny as a diamond, & flashing like it.

My text is the one precious drop of essence, distilled from gardens full of fragrant flowers. There is an old legend of a magic tent, which could be expanded to shelter an army, & contracted to cover a single person. That great Gospel which fills the Bible & overflows on the shelves of crowded libraries is here, without harm to its power, folded up into one saying, which the simplest can understand sufficiently to partake of the salvation which it offers.

There are five of these 'faithful sayings' in the letters of Paul, usually called 'the pastoral epistles.' It seems to have been a manner with him, at that time of his life, to underscore anything which he felt to be especially important by attaching to it this label.

They are all, with one exception, references to the largest truths of the Gospel. I turn to this one, the first of them now, for the sake of gathering some lessons from it.

I. Note, then, first, here the Gospel in a nutshell.

'Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.' Now, every word there is weighty, & might be, not beaten out, but opened out into volumes. Mark who it is that comes -- the solemn double name of that great Lord, 'Christ Jesus.' The former tells of his divine appointment & preparation, inasmuch as the Spirit of the Lord God is upon him, anointing him to proclaim good tidings to the poor, & to open the prison doors to all the captives, & asserts that it is he to whom prophets & ritual witnessed, & for whose coming prophets & kings looked wearily through the ages, & died rejoicing even to see afar off the glimmer of his day. The name of Jesus tells of the child born in Bethlehem, who knows the experience of our lives by His own, & not only bends over our griefs with the pity & omniscience of a God, but with the experience & sympathy of a person.

'Christ Jesus came.' Then He was before He came. His own will impelled His feet, & brought Him to earth.

'Christ Jesus came to save.' Then there is disease, for saving is healing; & there is danger, for saving is making secure.

'Christ Jesus came to save sinners' -- the universal condition, co-extensive with the 'world' into which, & for which, He came. And so the essence of the Gospel, as it lay in Paul's mind, & had been verified in His experience, was this -- that a divine person had left a life of glory, & in wonderful fashion had taken upon Himself manhood in order to deliver men from the universal danger & disease. That is the Gospel which Paul believed, & which He commends to us as 'a faithful saying.'

Well, then, if that be so, there are two or three things very important for us to lay to heart. The first is the universality of sin. That is the thing in which we are all alike, dear friends. That is the one thing about which any person is safe in their estimate of another. We differ profoundly. The members of this congregation, gathered accidentally together, & perhaps never to be all together again, may be at the antipodes of culture, of condition, of circumstances, of modes of life; but, just as really below all the diversities there lies the common possession of the one human heart, so really & universally below all diversities there lies the black drop in the heart, & 'we all have sinned & come short of the glory of God.' It is that truth which I want to lay on your hearts as the 1st condition to understanding anything about the power, the meaning, the blessedness of the Gospel which we say we believe.

And what does Paul mean by this universal indictment? If you take the vivid autobiographical sketch in the midst of which it is embedded, you will understand. He goes on to say, 'of whom I am chief.' It was the same person that said, without supposing that He was contradicting this utterance at all, 'touching the righteousness which is in the law' I was 'blameless.' And yet, 'I am chief.' So all true men who have ever shown us their heart, in telling their Christian faith, have repeated Paul's statement; from Augustine in His wonderful Confessions, to John Bunyan in His Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners. And then prosaic men have said, 'What profligates they must have been, or what exaggerators they are now!' No.

Sewer gas of the worst sort has no smell; & the most poisonous exhalations are only perceptible by their effects.

What made Paul think himself the chief of sinners was not that He had broken the commandments, for He might have said, & in effect did say, 'All these have I kept from my youth up,' but that, through all the respectability & morality of His early life there ran this streak -- an alienation of heart, in the pride of self-confidence, from God, & an ignorance of his own wretchedness & need. Ah! beloved, I do not need to exaggerate, nor to talk about 'splendid vices,' in the untrue language of one of the old saints, but this I seek to press on you: that the deep, universal sin does not lie in the indulgence of passions, or the breach of moralities, but it lies here -- 'thou hast left Me, the fountain of living water.' That is what I charge on myself, & on every one of you, & I beseech you to recognise the existence of this sinfulness beneath all the surface of reputable & pure lives. Beautiful they may be; God forbid that I should deny it: beautiful with many a strenuous effort after goodness, & charming in many respects, but yet vitiated by this, 'The God in whose hand thy breath is, & whose are all thy ways, thou hast not glorified.' That is enough to make a person brush away all the respectabilities & proprieties & graces, & look at the black reality beneath, & wail out 'of whom I am chief.'

But, further, Paul's condensed summary of the Gospel implies the fatal character of this universal sin. 'He comes to save,' says He. Now what answers to 'save' is either disease or danger. The word is employed in the original in antithesis to both conditions. To save is to heal & to make safe.

And I need not remind you, I suppose, of how truly the alienation from God, & the substitution for Him of self or of creature, is the sickness of the whole person. But the end of sickness uncured is death.

We 'have no healing medicine,' & the 'wound is incurable' by the skill of any earthly chirurgeon. The notion of sickness passes, therefore, at once into that of danger: for unhealed sickness can only end in death.

Oh! that my words could have the waking power that would startle some of my complacent hearers into the recognition of the bare facts of their lives & character, & of the position in which they stand on a slippery inclined plane that goes straight down into darkness!

You do not hear much about the danger of sin from some modern pulpits.

God forbid that it should be the staple of any; but God forbid that it should be excluded from any! Whilst fear is a low motive, self-preservation is not a low one; & it is to that that I now appeal.

Beloved, the danger of every sin is, first, its rapid growth; second,

its power of separating from God; third,

the certainty of a future -- ay! & present -- retribution.

To me, the proof of the fatal effect of sin is what God had to do in order to stop it. Do you think that it would be a small, superficial cut which could be stanched by nothing else but the pierced hand of Jesus Christ?

Measure the intensity of danger by the cost of deliverance, & judge how grave are the wounds for the healing of which stripes had to be laid on Him.

Ah! if you & I had not been in danger of death, Jesus Christ would not have died. And if it be true that the Son of God laid aside His glory, & came into the world & died on the Cross for men, out of the very greatness of the gift, & the marvellousness of the mercy, there comes solemn teaching as to the intensity of the misery & the reality & awfulness of the retribution from which we were delivered by such a death.

Sin, the universal condition, brings with it no slight disease & no small danger.

Further, we may gather from this condensed summary where the true heart & essence of the Christian revelation is. You will never understand it until you are contented to take the point of view which the NT takes, & give all weight & gravity to the fact of man's transgression & the consequences thereof.

We shall never know what the power & the glory of the revelation of God in Jesus Christ is until we recognise that, first & foremost, it is the mighty means by which man's ruin is repaired, man's downrush is stopped, sin is forgiven & capable of being cleansed.

Only when we think of the Gospel of Jesus Christ as being, first & foremost, the redemption of the world by the great act of incarnation & sacrifice, do we come to be in a position in any measure to estimate its superlative worth.

And, for my part, I believe that almost all the mistakes & errors & evaporations of Christianity into a mere dead nothing which have characterised the various ages of the Church come mainly from this, that

men fail to see how deep & how fatal are the wounds of sin, &

so fail to apprehend the Gospel as being mainly & primarily a system of redemption.

There are many other most beautiful aspects about it, much else in it, that is lovely & of good report, & fitted to draw men's hearts & admiration; but all is rooted in this, the life & death of Jesus Christ, the sacrifice by whom we are forgiven, & in whom we are healed. And if you strike that out, you have a dead nothing left -- an eviscerated Gospel.

I believe that we all need to be reminded of that to-day, as we always do, but mainly to-day, when we hear from so many lips estimates, favourable or unfavourable to Christianity & its mission in the world, which leave out of sight, or minimise into undue insignificance, or shove into a backward place, its essential characteristic, that it is the power of God through Christ,

His Son Incarnate, dying & rising again for the salvation of individual souls from the penalty, the guilt, the habit, & the love of their sins, & only secondarily is it a morality, a philosophy, a social lever.

I take for mine the quaint saying of one of the old Puritans, 'When so many beloved are preaching to the times, it may be allowed one poor brother to preach for eternity.'

'This is a faithful saying, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.'                     _____________________________________________________

II. Now note the reliableness of this condensed Gospel.

When a person in the middle of some slight plank, thrown across a stream, tests it with a stamp of His foot, & calls to His comrades, 'It is quite firm,' there is reason for their venturing upon it too. That is exactly what Paul is doing here. How does He know that it is 'a faithful saying'? Because He has proved it in His own experience, & found that in His case the salvation which Jesus Christ was said to effect has been effected. Now there are many other grounds of certitude besides this, but, after all, it is worth men's while to consider how many millions there have been from the beginning who would be ready to join chorus with the Apostle here, & to say, 'One thing I know, that whereas I was blind, now I see.' My experience cannot be your certitude; but if you & I are suffering from precisely the same disease, & I have tested a cure, my experiences should have some weight with you. And so, beloved, I point you to all the thousands who are ready to say, 'This poor person cried, & the Lord heard Him, & saved Him.' Are there any who give counter-evidence; that say, 'We have tried it. It is all a sham & imagination. We have asked this Christ of yours to forgive us, & He has not. We have asked Him to cleanse us, & He has not. We have tried Him, & He is an impostor, & we will have no more to do with Him.' There are people, alas! who have gone back to their wallowing in the mire, but it was not because Christ had failed in His promises, but because they did not care to have them fulfilled any more. Jesus Christ does not promise that His salvation shall work against the will of men who submit themselves to it.

But it is not only because of that consentient chorus of many voices -- the testimony of which wise men will not reject -- that the word is 'a faithful saying.' This is no place or time to enter upon anything like a condensation of the Christian evidence; but, in lieu of everything else, I point to one proof. There is no fact in the history of the world better attested, & the unbelief of which is more unreasonable, than the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. And if Christ rose from the dead -- & you cannot understand the history of the world unless He did, nor the existence of the Church either -- if Jesus Christ rose from the dead, it seems to me that almost all the rest follows of necessity: the influx of the supernatural, the unique character of His career, the correspondence of the end with the beginning, the broad seal of the divine confirmation stamped upon His claims to be the Son of God & the Redeemer of the world. All these things seem to me to come necessarily from that fact. And I say, given the consentient witness of nineteen centuries, given the existence of the Church, given the effects of Christianity in the world, given that upon which they repose -- the Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead -- the conclusion is sound, 'This is a faithful saying . . . that He came into the world to save sinners.'

Men talk, nowadays, very often as if the progress of science & new views as to the evolution of creatures or of mankind had effected the certitude of the Gospel. It does not seem to me that they have in the smallest degree. 'The foundation of God standeth sure,' whatever may become of some of the superstructures which men have built upon it. They may very probably be blown away. So much the better if we get the rock to build upon once more. A great deal is going, but not the Gospel. Do not let us be afraid, or suppose that it will suffer. Do not let us dread every new speculation as if it was going to finish Christianity, but recognise this -- that the fact of man's sin and, blessed be God! the fact of man's redemption stands untouched by them all; & to-day, as of old, Jesus Christ is, & is firmly manifested to be, the world's Saviour. Whatsoever refuge may be swept away by any storms, 'Behold, I lay in Zion for a foundation, a stone, a tried corner-stone, a sure foundation: He that believeth shall not be confounded.'

III. Lastly, notice the consequent wisdom & duty of acceptance.

'Worthy of all acceptation,' says Paul. Yes, of course, if it is reliable. That word of the Lord which is 'sure, making wise the simple,' deserves to be received. Now this phrase, 'all acceptation,' may mean either of two things: it may either mean worthy of being welcomed by all men, or by the whole of each person.

This Gospel deserves to be welcomed by every person, for it is fitted for every person, since it deals with the primary human characteristic of transgression. Brethren! we need different kinds of intellectual nutriment, according to education & culture. We need different kinds of treatment, according to condition & circumstance. The morality of one age is not the morality of another. Much, even of right & wrong, is local & temporary; but black person & white, savage & civilised, philosopher & fool, king & clown, all need the same air to breathe, the same water to drink, the same sun for light & warmth, & all need the same Christ for redemption from the same sin, for safety from the same danger, for snatching from the same death. This Gospel is a Gospel for the world, & for every person in it. Have you taken it for yours? If it is 'worthy of all acceptation,' it is worthy of your acceptation. If you have not, you are treating Him & it with indignity, as if it was a worthless letter left in the post-office for you, which you knew was there, but which you did not think valuable enough to take the trouble to go for. The gift lies at your side. It is less than truth to say that it is 'worthy of being accepted.' Oh! it is infinitely more than that.

It is, also, 'worthy of all acceptation' in the sense of worthy of being accepted into all a man's nature, because it will fit it all & bless it all. Some of us give it a half welcome. We take it into our heads, & then we put a partition between them & our hearts, & keep our religion on the other side, so that it does not influence us at all. It is worthy of being received by the understanding, to which it will bring truth absolute; of being received by the will, to which it will bring the freedom of submission; of being received by the conscience, to which it will bring quickening; of being received by the affections, to which it will bring pure & perfect love. For hope, it will bring a certainty to gaze upon; for passions, a curb; for effort, a spur & a power; for desires, satisfaction; for the whole person, healing & light.

Brother! take it. And, if you do, begin where it begins, with your sins; & be contented to be saved as a sinner in danger & sickness, who can neither defend nor heal yourself. And thus coming, you will test the rope & find it hold; you will take the medicine & know that it cures; and, by your own experience, you will be able to say, 'This is a faithful saying, Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners.'

[ya-boi-hawkeye]

Mortality

a super self indulgent thing that i wrote for the LOADed With Sin AU. set way into the future, like idk i was just feeling sort of melancholy and thinking about what it means to be a droid surrounded by organic friends

“Hey Red.” B2 Battle Droid XK-2561-JS00241—Red, it had been nicknamed, on account of the splotches of rusted metal from being stored in less than ideal circumstances—twisted slightly to acknowledge the presence of it’s Captain. “Mind some company?”

“I am always appreciative of your technical expertise, Captain.” Red answered blandly, handing over the precision tools.

Nia gave him a speculative look at that, hooking her foot around a stool to drag it over. “I’m pretty sure if you’re looking for technical expertise, Loeb would be the one you want.”

“Perhaps.” Red admitted. “But the hairballs have a tendency to clog up my intake ports.”

“Ooh, someone’s in a mood.” She teased. “What are we working on today?”

“Increasing optimal efficiency.” Red answered. “There is a .02% lag in computational commands versus output in my internal weaponry.”

“Not 0.02%.” Nia gasped, pulling the primary firing limb closer to her. “Think of what that could cost us.”

“You are mocking me.” Red answered reproachfully. “What an organic thing to do.”

The smile she gave him was quick and warm, reaching up to her eyes and creating creases in them. There were more than when they’d first met, when she’d accidentally powered it on while hiding on the First Order base. Red supposed that inevitably, it too had to show the passage of years that spanned between the two moments, the rust scoured clean, chassis built and rebuilt time and again to account for upgrades and damage.

But whereas the organics that it considered its colleagues began to slow, biologic processes losing efficiency, Red only improved.

“Hey Red?” Nia didn’t look up as she poked around the calibration system of the photon canon in its arm, precision tools moving and testing the wiring. “You ever think about your own mortality?”

The droid’s optical sensors flickered at that, in an expression that might have been construed as surprise. “I am synthetic. I do not decay as you do.”

She didn’t answer for a moment, reconnecting a wire with a jolt of sensory feedback along its processors. “No, that’s true. Your body does, from wear and tear though, otherwise we wouldn’t be here right now would we? What happens if it gets damaged beyond repair?”

“There are fail safes.” It answered slowly. “My cognitive processors shut down, and the hard drive can theoretically be removed and uploaded into a new format.”

“Theoretically?” She questioned. “That makes you effectively immortal. Or at least, much more difficult to kill.”

“Theoretically.” Red repeated. “In practice it is much more difficult. Ideally this is because of my role, as a B2 Battle Droid it was expected that I would be wholly destroyed in battle.”

“You were primarily functional during the first galactic civil war. Before the Empire got its hands on the clone army.”

Red filtered through its memory banks, which stretched back far, far past the decades spent shut down and non-functional. “I recall them. Generals Skywalker and Kenobi.” The images were there, clear as day, played back like security feed. “Across a barren, red landscape, parts of droids scattered around them. It would have been easy to have fallen the same way and then… there would have been nobody to transfer my hard drive.”

Which was unsurprising, and not uncommon. They were droids, after all, a nearly endless resource if one had the money to pay for it; who would bother going through the effort to extract one hard drive, from one fallen droid, when they could just make a hundred more? Even those that were taken for recovery, it was the data that was desired, not the personality protocol of the droid itself. It wasn’t like they were organic, it wasn’t like it had a soul.

Nia did look up at that, a wounded, pinched expression on her face as she watched it. Her eyes were too expressive, Red thought, micro expressions on her face that made her an open book.

Red didn’t need to hear the words to know the argument churning in that gaze; you exist, you matter, you have a soul even if it’s not like mine.

A lesson she’d learned the hard way, it knew, a lesson she was still paying for.

“You could now though, if you wanted. We have the money, we could have a brand new chassis designed for you. State of the art. You could upgrade, and upgrade, and upgrade. You’d be around long after I was dust.”

“Perhaps.” It had crossed the thought processors, that Red would without a doubt outlast them. “But what form would I take? Who would I trust so intimately to recreate myself?”

“Loeb could do it. Or you could ask Rey. Sasha knows a lot about functional cybernetics since she’s a cyborg herself.” Nia pointed out. “Lizandra, I’m sure, if you asked nicely. Hell, she could probably give you some sort of extra-dimensional body. Like, maybe you could become a sick-ass robo-dragon? Or something that, like, can phase through planes of existence? You could go into alternate dimensions.”

“You assume that a form I would desire.” Red flexed its hand as Nia pulled back, setting the tools down and closing the panel. “Running system diagnostics.”

“Okay then, smarty pants, what form would you like?” She rolled her eyes, reaching over to scratch at the seam where her synthetic hand fused to her arm. “Has to be something good if you’re going to outlive the rest of us.”

“Something worthy of respect.” Red decided. “Which is not to imply that the form of Landilizandra is not worthy of respect—” It had seen the damage the dragon-goddess could inflict, it would be unwise to imply any sort of insult. “—But that is not the form I would wish to be rebuilt into. I am a battle droid, it is what I was when we met, and I would not change while any of you remain.”

“You would wish.” She parroted in a stilted voice, no doubt designed to be a mimicry of it’s own auditory output. “Well, you have time at least. I’m pretty sure Ki’da and Loeb are going to outlive us all. Well, except for the kids at least.”

She paused then, looking pensive. “Still, it must be nice, having the option to decide. To have more control over when natural processes take you.”

“But terribly lonely, I should think.” Red mused. “To remain so unchanging, while those you have come to care for age and die.”

“I suppose so.” She sighed, and there was something off about her tone, about the pensive way she frowned at her own hands. “I suppose I’ve been thinking about my own mortality, and the legacy I’ll be leaving behind. If I shouldn’t have done something more.”

The droid didn’t respond, not verbally, but rather it folded its hands together, turning to regard the human.

“It wasn’t supposed to go like this, my life.” She sighed. “I was going to be… something. A pilot? Not like Poe, Poe can fly anything. But I have a mind for tactics, I’m good in the field, I could have been a New Republic soldier. Could have done things right.”

“And then, after, when my head was relatively unfucked and I had the choice to choose what I wanted, I became a pirate. Not a terrible one, not complete scum, but look at me. This isn’t exactly the legacy I imagined leaving for my children.”

“Perhaps not.” Red admitted. “But a legacy is different things to different people. You will be remembered well, by your children who know you love them, and the people you have helped. You will be remembered well by me, for however long I last. That is your legacy. It will be one worth remembering.”

“You always know just what to say.” She smiled.

In the end, Nia had been right. Ki’dara and Loeb had been the last of the original crew to go.

Those doctor types, they’re like cockroaches, hard to kill.

The procession was grand, as under Gomla’s leadership the Void pirates had grown into an armada of massive size, beyond what their mother could have ever imagined.

She would be proud of the legacy she’d left behind, Red thought. Proud of what she had created.

The air was somber, as the bodies were brought in. Wrapped in the finest silks, soaked in the most expensive of wines and encrusted with gold and jewels. It was tradition; a last display of the decadence of a pirate’s life. And they were bound and lain together, in death as in life.

There were few words, spoken primarily by Shian, the heir they left behind, before it was time to see the bodies dealt with.

And that was tradition too, though it didn’t start that way. They would be fed through the engines, bodies burned down to the smallest of particles and launched out into the void of space to drift among the stars. The Captain had been the first to go like that; she had loved the vast expanse of space, and as her spirit returned to the Force from whence it came, so too would her worldly body return to the cosmos which had created it.

It was beautifully poetic, in a way, which is why the others followed suit. To return to the spaces that they had claimed at her side, together in life as in death. And then others followed even after. Generations that didn’t know what the original Void Squadron was, that didn’t know the touch of the civil war, or the First Order, that weren’t born on the bones of a galaxy trying to recover.

Ki’dara and Loeb washed out into the universe in a spray of gold and blue sparks, their passing marked with tears, with stoicism, and the acknowledging burst of a spray of weapons from the rest of the ships gathered. A fitting farewell, to the last of the founders.

And soon, Red knew, would come the proper farewell. The farewell to their memories, to the lives and legacies they left behind, which would be celebrated with alcohol, and camaraderie.

The droid turned away from the viewport, human fingers—human like, different in that they were made from a foreign metal, black and silver, energy lines flowing with red light—curling around the hood of the jacket and pulling it closer.

An upgrade.

It—he? They?—had left behind the old chassis with the last of the original Squad. Effectively immortal, she had said, and that was true in a way. But Red couldn’t go back, couldn’t stay in the body of the B2 Battle Droid XK-2561-JS00241. So instead it had upgraded, taken a form worthy of the highest respect.

“It’s okay, yeah?” Harroc was at its side, tail twitching and, even with a life extended beyond that of his human progenitor—never as long as that of their mother—Red could see the wear of the decades on him too. Less physically, he didn't age per session, but Red had been there from the beginning, when Harroc had hatched from an egg. And it could see it now, in the bearing, the weight of wisdom in the eyes. An almost kindred spirit in this.

The droid didn’t know what it meant, this new chapter in its life, this new body. But it had been given a chance, long ago, in a humid and sweltering storage room, by a confusing, mortal woman. And truly the best way to honor those fallen comrades was to do whatever it could to find out.

The droid paused, thumb dragging along the curve of a small holodisk, pressing into the center to bring up the image. The original Void Squadron, it was a picture that had been taken for morale, to commemorate what we were and what we are. The hull was familiar, and there they all were, basking in the glory of being the ones to reclaim the Katana fleet. Younger then, the future ahead of them, victory on the horizon.

Red had the image, the entire memory, locked away securely in its memory banks making the holo quite superfluous. At any moment it could replay those memories, and it would be as though nothing had changed, as though it was right back in that moment, could recall the feel of Nia’s arms slung around its shoulders, holding tight. The way Nico would scoff and try to shift away from the camera, only to be pinned between Illeria and Arcturus. How Riva insisted on climbing onto Tyrk’s shoulders. A better time, Red thought, and the pain of knowing that it was all that was left ached like a burnt out hole in his torso.

There had never been organics quite like them before, and there would never be organics quite like them in the galaxy again.

“Yes.” With a sharp nod—jerky, still calibrating this new body—Red set the holo down, on display, these children should remember, with the other trinkets, in memoriam. “It’s okay.”

It was a terribly lonely thing, to be the only one left.

[phynxrizng]

THIS WEEK IN ASTROLOGY. ....

Cafe Astrology .com Cafe Astrology .com Home Shop Horoscopes Site Map Search This Week in Astrology This Week in Astrology is updated every Saturday and includes the week’s Moon phase, planets in signs and aspects, retrogrades, this week’s astrology calendar, the current void-of-course Moon tables and timing advice, and Daily Trends interpretations. September 29, 2017 / This Week in Astrology This Week in Astrology: October 1 to 7, 2017 October 1 to 7, 2017 On this Page: This week’s Moon phase Planets in signs and aspect Retrogrades This week’s astrology calendar Timing with the Moon Romance & Relationship Report Daily Trends   Full Moon The FULL MOON occurs on Thursday, October 5, 2017, at 10:53 PM EDT. On Thursday night, the Full Moon occurs in the sign of Aries. The Full Moon is a time of culmination and the promise of fulfillment of that which was started at the New Moon. It is an emotional time–a time of romance, fertilization, and relationships. The Aries-Libra polarity is a relationship axis, where Aries represents “self” and Libra represents “other”. Where Aries is about self-assertion, Libra is about compromise. The energy of the Libra Sun is the awareness of the need for relationships and all that comes with maintaining them–compromising, negotiating, graciousness, and balancing. The Aries Moon, on the other hand, is self-assertive, leading, and personally courageous. This Full Moon urges us to strike a balance between meeting our personal needs and tending to the needs of a significant other, and between independence or autonomy and dependence or companionability. The Libra Sun is diplomatic, equality-minded, and fair-minded. The Aries Moon, however, values authenticity over tact and is energized by independent efforts. The Full Moon illuminates this conflict. Neglecting either end of the Aries-Libra axis will surely backfire on us. Ideally, a balance should be found between the two energies, and this is what the Full Moon invites us to do. This Full Moon is about emotional declarations. Something has been building inside of us, likely of a personal nature, and now is the time when the energy of the cosmos fairly demands that we let it out. Over the next two weeks, we will discover what this declaration means for us. For now, we can’t sit on our feelings. We need to express them. The Full Moon illuminates the conflict between “me” and “you”, and between autonomy and sharing. With the Moon full and bright in the sky, symbolic “illumination” occurs in our own lives. However, these new feelings and revelations are emotional ones, as there is a sense of emotions bursting forth into our consciousness. It’s time to express ourselves, and to let things out of our systems. Of course, we might want to exercise some care while doing so, knowing that what is coming out of us is new and not particularly rational as yet. With the Full Moon forming a square to Pluto and the Sun aligned with Mercury, there can be intense realizations now.  Full Moon in Aries Chart – October 5, 2017 This phase of the Moon occurs at 12 degrees and 43 minutes of Aries forming an opposition with the Sun at 12 degrees and 43 minutes of Libra, affecting people born with personal planets and points at approximately 9 to 17 degrees of the Cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn) most significantly. Moon Phase Cycle: Bigger Picture Sep 20, 2017, 1:30 AM Sun Conjunct Moon (New Moon) Sep 27, 2017, 10:53 PM Sun Square Moon (First Quarter Moon) Oct 5, 2017, 2:40 PM Sun Opposition Moon (Full Moon) Oct 12, 2017, 8:25 AM Sun Square Moon (Last Quarter Moon) Oct 19, 2017, 3:12 PM Sun Conjunct Moon (New Moon) (Times are Eastern) The Sun is in Libra; Mercury is in Libra; Venus is in Virgo; Mars is in Virgo. The Sun is in Libra from September 22-October 23. Libra rules relationships with others as mirrors of ourselves. Meeting others halfway, compromise, and negotiation come under the rule of Libra. The focus is now on balance–finding balance and harmony through relationships with others and through art. Libra is the sign of the peacemaker. However, life is not always peaceful with Libra in its attempt to restore balance. Decision-making can be more challenging while the Sun is in Libra. Libra weighs both sides of any situation, and sometimes this process seems endless! In Libra, the Sun is concerned about not rocking the boat and not rubbing others the wrong way. Tactfulness, style, tolerance, and sociability are some of the keywords for Libra. On the shadow side, Libra can be self-serving, indecisive, passive-aggressive, and superficial. Mercury is in Libra from September 29-October 17. When Mercury is in Libra, we are diplomatic and friendly. During this cycle, we are able to bring a more rational approach to one-to-one relationships. It’s a good time to think about ways of improving our negotiation skills. In an attempt to see both sides of any given situation, Mercury in Libra can be a vacillating energy. It can be more challenging than usual to make quick decisions, as we can sit “on the fence”. We may too easily accommodate others’ opinions in order to keep the peace. In our negotiations, we don’t want to assert ourselves in such a way as to appear to be the “bad guy”. However, this is a good period for considering others’ points of view. We are more inclined to arrive at fair conclusions. Venus is in Virgo from September 19-October 14. This is a time when we express our love through practical means and gestures–running errands, doing detail work, or just being there for our lovers. Love needs to make sense and have a purpose with Venus in Virgo. Virgo is an Earth sign, which is sensual but also quite practical. Besides our romantic natures, what we decide to buy and the types of entertainment we enjoy during this cycle is ruled by whether or not things make sense. We could easily feel guilty if we are too self-indulgent at this time. Rendering services to others can fill a need and can be an expression of love. The shadow side of this position is being overly critical of our partners, picky, or worrisome. Mars is in Virgo from September 5-October 22. In Virgo, Mars is somewhat of a workhorse. We have a passion for details, as well as a need to do the right thing at just the right time under this influence. The satisfaction of a job well done is one of your greatest incentives now. We are more precise and concerned about performance.  Saturn transits Sagittarius from December 23, 2014, to June 14, 2015, and then from September 17, 2015, to December 20, 2017. Read about Saturn’s transit through Sagittarius here.  Jupiter entered Libra on September 9th, 2016, and will transit Libra until October 10, 2017, after which Jupiter will be in Scorpio. Read about Jupiter in Libra here. Read about the upcoming Jupiter in Scorpio transit here. Uranus entered Aries on March 11th, 2011 and will transit Aries until May 15, 2018, and then from November 6, 2018, to March 6, 2019. The urge to start fresh, to break free from restrictive attitudes or circumstances, to totally redesign an area of our lives (or even our personalities), and to gain freedom through independence is strong with Uranus in Aries. Romance & Relationships Venus is in Virgo from September 19-October 14. This is a time when we express our love through practical means and gestures–running errands, doing detail work, or just “being there” for our lovers. Essentially, we fuss over our partners, sometimes a little too much! Our availability and accessibility is a sign of love. Love needs to make sense and have a purpose with Venus in Virgo. Virgo is an Earth sign, which is sensual but also quite practical. We could easily feel guilty if we are too self-indulgent during this cycle. We can be a little shy and prone to worry. We pick up on many different cues, attempting to analyze every detail of our lovers’ reactions and responses. We could worry ourselves sick agonizing over details! In the process, we can miss out on the bigger and perhaps more meaningful cues. As well, Virgo is a sign that can live very much in the mind in the middle of an experience, failing to enjoy the moment. Self-consciousness can get in the way of enjoyment. Rendering services to others can fill a need and can be an expression of love. The shadow side of this position is being overly critical of our partners, picky, or worrisome. This week: Venus aligns with Mars and forms a trine to Pluto from Tuesday to Thursday, exciting our desires and increasing our cravings for meaningful and thrilling connections. There can be strong emotions and intense feelings experienced now. Strong attractions are likely. Some level of competition is present in our interactions, but it’s likely of a pleasurable and gently challenging kind. Venus, the Goddess of Love: Highlights in the Coming Week: Venus in Virgo September 19-October 14. If it makes sense you love it, and if it doesn’t you feel guilty about it: that’s what it’s like now. A loving attention to details and a sense of satisfaction in doing what is right (especially with respect to your health) are some of the qualities that come to the fore at a time like this. Venus opposition Neptune September 29. Not a good time to start a new relationship, which could be characterized by disappointments, and the tendency to feel emotionally (and sometimes financially) drained by the partner. Uncertainties about existing love. Venus trine Pluto October 3. Powerful and uplifting time for romantic/sexual relationships. New insights into relationships and love. Strong attractions. Relationships are intense and deep, but not draining. Venus conjunct Mars October 3-4. This is a passionate, warm, expressive, lively and sexy energy. We are now able to take the initiative to achieve harmony and sexual fulfillment. This influence brings satisfaction to the feelings. Our creativity and desire to make something beautiful are stimulated now. We are more able to combine warmth with energy. Social relations are impassioned, and perhaps demanding or extreme. In some cases, this impulsive energy generates “love at first sight” scenarios or erotic interludes. Teamwork is more successful now. Some level of competition is present in our interactions, but it’s likely of a pleasurable and gently challenging kind. Impulsive purchases are possible. Venus parallel Mars October 5-6. Favors romantic and sexual relationships. Intense passions. Venus square Saturn October 7-8. Feeling unsatisfied, isolated, and unloved. Personal relationships are likely to be strained as we express our affections cautiously and sparingly. If we believe we are not getting what we want in love, we attract negative situations and challenges in our relationships. This is not a good time to begin a new relationship–new ones begun now are likely to be stamped with themes of duty and restriction. The Moon & Timing The Void of Course Moon is the period of time after the Moon has made its last aspect in one sign until the Moon enters a new sign. During Void of Course Moon periods, it is generally wise to stick to routine rather than to begin new projects. The last aspect the Moon makes before changing signs is indicated here and is indicative of the “outcome” of the matter (whether that is a new project begun before the void period or the answer to a question in Horary Astrology). Void of Course in Horary Astrology: If you were asking a question and making a chart for the answer, as you do in Horary astrology, it is said that since the Moon is not looking forward to any more aspects in this sign, you would have to say that the answer is not forthcoming; any questions asked at this time would not come to pass. The Moon being Void is one of the Strictures against Judgment in Horary Astrology. The following tables incorporate the modern planets, but some astrologers do not count Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto in void Moon calculations. The Void-of-Course Moon this Week: Void-of-course Moon on Monday, October 2nd, from 7:14 AM EDT, with the Moon’s last aspect before changing signs (a trine to Jupiter), until the Moon enters Pisces at 10:27 AM EDT. VOC Moon on Wednesday, October 4th, from 3:20 AM EDT, with the Moon’s last aspect before changing signs (a square to Saturn), until the Moon enters Aries at 4:40 PM EDT. VOC Moon on Friday, October 6th, from 6:38 PM EDT, with the Moon’s last aspect before changing signs (an opposition to Jupiter), until the Moon enters Taurus at 7:56 PM EDT. Void of Course Moon – October 2017  Void of Course Table: October 2017 (Dates and Times) Timing with the Moon – Better Periods this Week for Electing New Initiatives The Moon is waxing this week until the Full Moon on the 5th — a period that is generally considered favorable for new beginnings, with exceptions. The Moon is waning after the Full Moon on the 5th — a period that is generally considered unfavorable for new beginnings, also with exceptions. (See Best Time to Start a Business for more details). According to principles of timing with the Moon, a window of opportunity (quite good) occurs this week from Saturday, September 30th, at approximately 12:45 AM EDT, until Monday, October 2nd, at approximately 7:10 AM EDT, while the Moon is in Aquarius. With this window, the Moon is waxing, forms a trine to the Sun, and the period ends with the Moon’s trine to Jupiter. Another window occurs from Friday, October 6th, at 8:00 PM EDT, until Sunday, October 8th, at approximately 9:45 AM EDT, while the Moon is in Taurus. Note that there is a Venus square Saturn aspect during this period, however. Planetary Stations & Sign Ingresses: Aug 12, 2017 9:00 PM Mercury Retrograde Aug 22, 2017 6:20 PM Sun enters Virgo Aug 25, 2017 8:08 AM Saturn Direct Aug 26, 2017 12:30 AM Venus enters Leo Aug 31, 2017 11:28 AM Mercury Retrograde enters Leo Sep 5, 2017 5:35 AM Mars enters Virgo Sep 5, 2017 7:30 AM Mercury Direct Sep 9, 2017 10:52 PM Mercury enters Virgo Sep 11, 2017 1:49 PM Pallas Retrograde Sep 18, 2017 3:47 AM Vesta enters Libra Sep 19, 2017 9:15 PM Venus enters Virgo Sep 22, 2017 4:02 PM Sun enters Libra Sep 24, 2017 1:41 AM Ceres enters Leo Sep 28, 2017 3:36 PM Pluto Direct Sep 29, 2017 8:42 PM Mercury enters Libra Oct 10, 2017 9:20 AM Jupiter enters Scorpio Oct 14, 2017 6:11 AM Venus enters Libra Oct 17, 2017 3:58 AM Mercury enters Scorpio Oct 22, 2017 2:29 PM Mars enters Libra Oct 23, 2017 1:27 AM Sun enters Scorpio See also: Astrology of Today – an overview of the day. See also: The Astrology of 2017 – Overview. Note: Times given are Eastern Time (ET). This Week’s Calendar  This Week in Astrology: October 1 to 7, 2017 This Week’s Aspects  Mars trine Pluto. This is a powerful aspect that helps us to focus on our goals, to take decisive action, and to go after what we want without stepping on others’ toes. We are willing to explore alternatives rather than simply relying on the tried and true. We are not afraid of a challenge and are willing to attempt to overcome obstacles. This is a strong energy for reworking or overhauling a project.  Venus trine Pluto. An excellent time for finances and for relationships, all things equal. Our feelings are intense and impassioned, but not in an offensive or destructive way. The need to share on deeper levels is strong now. A spiritual regeneration through love is possible.  Sun quincunx Neptune. It can be difficult to concentrate and to formulate clear goals just now. Misconceptions abound. Fear of being ineffective can undermine our confidence when it comes to making clear or definite decisions, and for doing new things.  Venus conjunct Mars. This transit generates a passionate, warm, expressive, lively, and sexy energy. We are now able to take the initiative to achieve harmony and sexual fulfillment. This influence brings satisfaction to the feelings. Our creativity and desire to make something beautiful is stimulated now. We are more able to combine warmth with energy. Social relations are impassioned, and perhaps demanding or extreme. We may also feel compelled to do something creative or artistic. In some cases this impulsive energy generates “love at first sight” scenarios or erotic interludes. The erotic impulses of love, desire, and sexuality are a highly charged focus of our attention. Expressing our passions in harmonious and pleasing ways is the focus. This is a time of balancing and integrating yin and yang energies within ourselves. We have a chance to express our needs, passions, and desires now in effective ways. Venus is diplomatic, gentle, romantic, and sensitive, while Mars is more forceful, sexual, and assertive. Venus can act to soften Mars’ aggressiveness, or Mars can make Venus’ romantic impulses more forceful and pressing. Teamwork is more successful now. Some level of competition is present in our interactions, but it’s likely of a pleasurable and gently challenging kind. Impulsive purchases are possible.  Mercury quincunx Neptune. There can be uncertainty and indecision now, as it can be difficult to draw upon intuition or to combine logic and intuition in a cohesive manner. Alternatively, the tendency to daydream can be high, and often at the expense of productivity and clear communication. Uranus semi-square Neptune. This is a time when we can feel particularly inspired, although we may feel restless if our dreams are no longer fulfilling us or keeping us hopeful. Watch for impractical ventures and unusual tangents that may not last. Note: Times given in the table/calendar above are Eastern Time (ET). Daily Trends Calendar See below for day-by-day forecasts and planets in signs. See also Transit to Transit aspects. See also: Astrology of Today – an overview of the day – Astrology Cafe. See also: The Astrology of 2017 – Overview. and The Astrology of 2018 – Overview (in progress). What’s In Store By the Stars – Daily Astrology Trends (as featured on the site’s main page and in our Daily Trends Calendar) See also the new Astrology Trends Calendar that includes these daily trends overviews and other astrological events such as ingresses, stations, and lunations. OCTOBER 1 Mars forms a trine to Pluto today, and Venus will do so on the 3rd as both bodies move towards alignment in the sign of Virgo. We have excellent energy with us for focusing on what truly matters to us today, as well as for harnessing the power of desire and make it work for us. We gain determination and a stronger feeling of purpose now. We are willing to explore alternatives rather than simply relying on the tried and true. We are not afraid of a challenge and are ready to overcome obstacles. This is intense energy for reworking or overhauling a project. The Moon is in Aquarius all day, and it’s a good time to break out of a rigid routine or way of thinking, network, brainstorm, update, and connect. OCTOBER 2 The Moon continues its transit of Aquarius until 10:27 AM EDT, harmonizing with Jupiter and Uranus before moving on to the sign of Pisces. This morning, we are friendly, open to new ideas, and looking to grow and make progress. The Moon’s transit of Pisces from 10:27 AM forward is a time for decompressing, winding down, and tapping into our intuition. We are more spiritually aware and sensitive, now, but we can also be evasive and shy away from conflict. The Moon is void from 7:14 AM EDT, with the Moon’s last aspect before changing signs (a trine to Jupiter), until the Moon enters Pisces at 10:27 AM EDT. OCTOBER 3 The Moon spends the day in Pisces, stimulating our compassionate side. A Venus-Pluto trine leads to insights regarding our relationships and/or finances. We can feel quite passionate and focused on a person, situation, relationship, or object, largely in a pleasant way. The need to share on deeper levels is strong now. A spiritual regeneration through love is possible with this influence. We seek to grow, improve, or develop our attachments. OCTOBER 4 A void of course Moon occurs from 3:20 AM EDT, with the Moon’s last aspect before changing signs (a square to Saturn), until the Moon enters Aries at 4:40 PM EDT. OCTOBER 5 OCTOBER 6 A void of course Moon occurs from 6:38 PM EDT, with the Moon’s last aspect before changing signs (an opposition to Jupiter), until the Moon enters Taurus at 7:56 PM EDT. OCTOBER 7  If it’s your birthday today, see our feature, If Today is Your Birthday Forecasts, for a free forecast for the upcoming year. Moon Signs This Week: When the Moon is in Aquarius  Attraction to all that is new and unusual, and an instinctive need for improvement, characterize the Moon in Aquarius. Reactions are more intellectual than emotional, and interactions are more impersonal than personal, under this influence. This is a time that promotes social gatherings, dealing with group ideals and goals for the future, brainstorming, new ideas, and progressive changes. We are open to new methods of doing things and we have our eye on the future. It can be hard to stick to schedules now, as personal freedom is most important to us. The Moon in Aquarius generally favors the following activities: Unusual or radical undertakings, social pursuits, group projects, trying something new, joining a group. When the Moon is in Pisces  We may not want to face reality while the Moon is in dreamy, impressionable Pisces. It can be a wistful, sensitive, intuitive, and compassionate time. We are especially imaginative, and our intuition reigns under this influence. Boundaries and walls come down, as Pisces energy merges and blends. It's a time when details are overlooked and feelings defy description. The Moon in Pisces generally favors the following activities: Imaginative undertakings, mystical or spiritual pursuits, inner development, music and drama, going on a retreat, activities involving water. When the Moon is in Aries  We're motivated by a strong desire to start fresh. A gut instinct to start something new is with us now, as well as the gumption to do so. Our pioneering impulses are strong, and we feel energetic, spontaneous, and enthusiastic. We may also be tactless and impulsive now. Excess energy is best channeled into physical activity. The Moon in Aries generally favors the following activities: Quick actions that yield immediate results. Undertakings that involve the self and the personality. (Staying power may be lacking). Self-assertion, taking on challenges, beginning short-term projects. When the Moon is in Taurus We are motivated by the desire for serenity, security, peace, and comfort. The Moon is at her most sensual and constant in Taurus. Our basic impulses are to relax, resist change, and "stop to smell the roses". Life slows down a little, and we get comfortable. We may also be inclined to stubbornness and materialism under this influence. The Moon in Taurus generally favors the following activities: Substantial and material actions that yield solid results. Financial activities, and those involving personal possessions, applying for a loan, beginning a potentially long-term relationship, music, home decor. Upcoming Weeks: Calendars  This Week in Astrology: October 8 to 14, 2017  This Week in Astrology Calendar: October 15 to 21, 2017  This Week in Astrology Calendar: October 22nd to 28th, 2017  This Week in Astrology Calendar: October 29th to November 4th, 2017  This Week in Astrology Calendar: November 5th to 11th, 2017  This Week in Astrology Calendar: November 12th to 18th, 2017 THIS WEEK’S PLANETARY POSITIONS BY SIGN (General Trends): Sun in Libra Meeting yourself in another person is the keynote of a new cycle which begins for you now. Relationships – romantic, business, social – are the arena where this drama is played out. In coming to know the other person, forging ties that bind two people, you come to a better understanding of yourself. It’s easy in theory, but it’s only in practice that it comes to mean anything real – so practice until you get it right! Mercury in Libra A new cycle begins for you, signaling a greater than usual interest in relationships, social connections, and the arts – on a more intellectual level than in the past, most likely. Seeing both sides of an issue, and figuring out resolutions to opposing views: these things take on more importance in your life. Venus in Virgo If it makes sense you love it, and if it doesn’t you feel guilty about it: that’s what it’s like now. A loving attention to details and a sense of satisfaction in doing what is right (especially with respect to your health) are some of the qualities that come to the fore at a time like this. Mars in Virgo As a new cycle dawns in your life, there arises a passion for details, a need to do just the right thing at just the right time, and a burning desire to have a place for everything and everything in its place. This can be hard on the digestion if taken to extremes! The satisfaction of a job well done is one of your greatest incentives now. Jupiter in Libra The ties that bind, the harmonious integration of opposites, the perfect balance: these are the keys to your greatest opportunities now. Marriage and other close personal relationships tend to offer bright prospects, and you have a deep yearning to experience the fulfillment they can bring. Saturn in Sagittarius The new phase now beginning in your life brings a need to break out of narrow concepts and legalistic philosophical or religious ideas. Remember: “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.” Opportunities to broaden your mental horizons may not come with ease, but they are essential if you are to avoid a kind of spiritual stagnation. Uranus in Aries A clean break with the past in some respects is signaled by the cycle you have just begun. What YOU need, YOUR freedom and independence, shattering old molds: these are the things that energize you and take priority in your life. Uniqueness and originality set you apart. Neptune in Pisces Things spiritual and psychic take the driver’s seat of your imagination as you begin a new cycle. The fine arts and all manner of fantasies assume a larger-than-life importance. Surrendering to fate, karma, and other powers greater than merely mortal may be seen as the ultimate liberation. If all is Maya (illusion), what is the reality that gives rise to the world of appearances? Pluto in Capricorn As this new phase dawns for you, the pursuit of social/political power and status has a way of seeming necessary and inevitable – and let nothing stand in its way. It starts out small but has bigger consequences than you’d think. Ambition, responsibility, a place for everyone and everyone in their place… The interpretations in this box are from the Day Watch software. What’s In Your Forecast? Take a peek at the year ahead with in-depth Future Forecast Reports from Cafe Astrology. BACK TO THIS WEEK IN ASTROLOGY MAIN/CURRENT See also: The Astrology of 2017 – Overview Monthly Calendar This Month in Astrology This Month’s Ephemeris This Month’s Transits   Next Week: (when available in advance) This Week in Astrology: October 1 to 7, 2017 Previous Weeks: This Week in Astrology: September 24 to 30, 2017 September 22, 2017 / This Week in Astrology This Week in Astrology: September 17 to 23, 2017 September 15, 2017 / This Week in Astrology This Week in Astrology: September 10 to 16, 2017 September 9, 2017 / This Week in Astrology EmailFacebookTwitterGoogle+PinterestTumblrGoogle GmailShare Search  Search this website … SEARCH Site Menu: Astrology Reports Birth Chart Interpretations Horoscopes & Forecasts Astrology Articles Astrology of Love & Sex Ask Annie Famous People Signs of the Zodiac Planets & Points Love Sign Compatibility Birthdays & Divining Arts Synastry/Relationships Predictive Astrology Astrology Tools & Tables Astrology Reference Astrology Topics Astrology Book Reviews Resources & Links Free Reports & Calculations Horoscopes & Forecasts – In This Section: Daily Horoscopes Monthly Horoscopes 2017 Horoscopes Preview 2017 Horoscopes Overview 2017 Yearly Horoscopes 2017 Love Horoscopes LoveScopes Ascendant Sign Horoscopes Good Days Calendars Daily Horoscopes II 2017 Planetary Overview 2018 Planetary Overview 2017 Astrological Aspects 2017 Astrological Events 2018 Astrological Events 2017 Best Dates for Love 2018 Best Dates for Love Transiting Conjunctions Sun-Venus Cycle 2017 Eclipse Charts Lunations: Eclipses New Moon in the Houses Full Moon in the Houses This Week in Astrology This Month in Astrology Astrology Trends Mega Calendar Yearly Astrology Trends Calendar Daily Trends Calendar Moon Phases Calendar Monthly Astrology Calendars Mercury Retrograde Venus Retrograde Mars Retrograde When Saturn is Retrograde Free Report: 2017 Preview Horoscopes Our Free Astrology Reports Love Sign Compatibility  Current Moon Sign Moon in Aquarius  The Moon is traveling through Aquarius today. Go against the grain. Fight for a cause. Stand up for the underdog. Attraction to all that is new and unusual, and an instinctive need for improvement, characterize the Moon in Aquarius. Reactions are more intellectual than emotional, and interactions are more impersonal than personal, under this influence. This is a time that promotes social gatherings, dealing with group ideals and goals for the future, brainstorming, new ideas, and progressive changes. We are open to new methods of doing things and we have our eye on the future. It can be hard to stick to schedules now, as personal freedom is most important to us. The Moon in Aquarius generally favors the following activities: Unusual or radical undertakings, social pursuits, group projects, trying something new, joining a group. 10/1/20171:52:01 PM UPCOMING FILTER EVENTS 01 OCT OCTOBER 1, 2017 DAILY OVERVIEW (Overview Of The Day: Sunday) EDT 02 OCT OCTOBER 2, 2017 DAILY OVERVIEW (Overview Of The Day: Monday) EDT 03 OCT OCTOBER 3, 2017 DAILY OVERVIEW (Overview Of The Day: Tuesday) EDT 05 OCT FULL MOON - OCTOBER 5, 2017 IN ARIES 2:40 pm EDT 07 OCT URANUS SEMI-SQUARE NEPTUNE PLANETARY ASPECT 3:15 am EDT 10 OCT JUPITER ENTERS SCORPIO PLANETARY INGRESS 9:19 am EDT 14 OCT VENUS ENTERS LIBRA PLANETARY INGRESS 6:10 am EDT 17 OCT MERCURY ENTERS SCORPIO PLANETARY INGRESS 3:58 am EDT 19 OCT NEW MOON - OCTOBER 19, 2017 IN LIBRA 3:12 pm EDT See full astrological event calendars. 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